Coming out from the darkness

Hi guys I have visited this forum numerous times when going through some of the toughest and most confusing times of my life. I figured I should make a profile and introduce myself since this forum has helped me tremendously. I have recently went out and seemed help for myself for once in my life my main focus is me. About 9 months ago I started looking to start therapy... I was starting to scare myself and was only getting worse. It was then that I had to wait 3 weeks until I could even introduce myself to a therapist it felt like an eternity at that time. Well I went through the introduction phase and got setup ... or so I thought... I could only afford to go once a month to see a therapist and it would drain me of any savings... well... before I could see her again I attempted suicide.. spent three weeks in a hospital two weeks in a psyc unit.. I downed *mod edit* and was on life support for 72 hrs and couldn't walk for another 3 days... that's when I really started getting help. My first diagnosis was mdd with psychotic and anxious features.. I have only been out the hospital for 6 months now my current diagnosis is mdd with anxious features,ptsd,depersonalization disorder, and dissociative amnesia. The last psyc unit and my current therapist don't think my voices are psychotic. they think they're dissociative and part of my ptsd.
I was physically,sexually,and emotionally abused as a kid. Although I have very few memories of all of it. Growing up I was the kid to get bullied or avoided.i had fluid behind my ears as a child so I never learned to talk right and I was a bit of a spaz at times. I had extreme social anxiety growing up because of that and I never learned how to really talk to people as I never really spoke. I have worked hard to get where I am today socially. I have trust issues. Always have and this year the only two people I trusted with everything left me to rot after I came out about my mental issues. I can't blame them but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck... a lot...
My current therapist recently brought up that there is a probability I have DID while that may explain the blackouts and voices(only being internal versions of me not external and not really affected by anti-psychotics)I don't really think I have such a disorder but time will tell I guess.

I have moved your post to the Living With Mental Illness Forum but I have left a shadow so this means that it can be viewed in both forums.