*** How are you feeling today? ***

Unsure. Impatient. Crowded.

Miserable living situation continues. The end is in sight... for next year. I have to keep holding on, just a little longer. I hear other married couples talking about their lives and I feel so disappointed, sad, envious. I can't even remember how long I've been cramped in here, sharing my time, my space, the love of my life, with this person that I sometimes don't even feel like I know. Has it been two years or three?

Hopeful.

Complicated.

I'm overthinking and ruminating, almost getting a headache.

Fortunate.

Just when I think I can handle my touch starvation, I'm hit with a deep, crushing desperation for it cause the last time I was touched in any sort of meaningful way was in 2010.

Really #######5, naseous, disgusted, and guilty because of my OCD...

Terrible and disgusted with myself, as usual...

I tried to watch a cartoon from when I was very young, and that was a mistake. I can't stop thinking about how much hope my parents must have had for me back then.