pass the buck on...

SmallTalkRed wrote:yes I miss the innocences, but everyone finds out about Santa.

I do believe, I know in my heart there are people who truly care and love other human beings just for that and that alone.

I also believe that there are good people in this world. I fully expect my child to grow up a decent person, who can stand on his word.

Yes, sometimes you can only rely on yourself. But then maybe at those times that is what you need to do anyway.

World can be a violent unforgiving place. But it is not the entire world, or everyone. Thank Goodness!

peace to all.
red

I loved what you said about Santa:) That was a good one.

Yes, SmallTalkRed. There are people that want to help you, yet there are plenty others that want to harm you (because they are mean, jealous, ill or think they protect something or God knows what else). I prefer those that are indifferent to what I do or don't in my life to be honest, but always a hand of help is welcome.

Those that are trying to harm you, must be avoided or punished (legally) at all cost, before it's too late.

Isme wrote:I do have friends I know I can depend on. I'm lucky. But I would never *expect* them to be there and support me whenever I needed it. They have their own lives, their own issues and problems. Sometimes dealing with their own $#%^ means they can't handle dealing with mine too - and it would be wrong of me to expect them to, really.

I've also been in the position of being unable to be there for a friend because of things that were happening in my own life. I'm not uncaring, or unforgiving... I just couldn't cope with both my burden and theirs at the time. Another friend regularly turned to me for help; after a couple of years, it really was too much for me. I really did care for and about her, but after so long of listening to all her problems, I found it was actually dragging me down too. I couldn't be strong enough for both of us, I guess.

I agree. People should have themselves above all (self esteem).

somebody,

Thanks!

When I was a child, I could not protect myself from hurtful abusive people. As an Adult I can protect myself and do. I grew up as a survivor not trusting anyone. This of course played right in to chemical imbalance, emotional and trust issues.

What I learned is yes there are hurtful people, but I can not go the rest of my life not trusting anyone. I made a self aware rule about people, 1. I go with my gut feeling 2. I will trust a person until they otherwise prove me wrong.

I am not saying, I wander out in to the world with rose colored glasses. But my distrust and hypervigilance was too much stress for me.

I had to let it go. I aim for balance. That is the best I can do.

Red

Cool.


Here is how trust develops:


http://changingminds.org/explanations/t ... _trust.htm


I don't want you to trust people until they prove otherwise. Trust develops slowly.

SmallTalkRed wrote:somebody,

I am not saying, I wander out in to the world with rose colored glasses. But my distrust and hypervigilance was too much stress for me.

I had to let it go. I aim for balance. That is the best I can do.

Red

Love, you sound like you had post traumatic stress disorder, but now you seem all right. Keep up the good work.

somebody,

I do have severe PTSD. I am a survivor of long term of sexual trauma.
24/7 from the ages of 10-15. So really I have overcome so many things (like climbing the Great Wall of China). I am not looking for kudo's, but I know myself very well and I came out the otherside of the ordeal wiser and stronger than I ever thought possible.

I am open about it, I dont blame myself, but I also know that others are not in the same place as I am in healing. That's ok to.

So it may not be that I "trust" everyone I meet, and in the back of my mind, Sexual predator is always there. But I cant cut off my life for these monsters to control. I guess I used the wrong words.

Lets just say, when I meet someone I dont think that they are a sexual pervert until they prove otherwise. I used to do that. It made the world a scary place.

Did we go off topic? Sorry if we did. No worries..continue.....

Ok, I red that about post traumatic stress in one of your posts, but I could also see that in what you wrote about trusting.

Overcoming post traumatic stress disorder is very possible.

I could tell you a lot, I successfully got ridden of the crappy disorder, but this topic is a little bit more "medical", than self esteem stuff. But still good new is that post traumatic stress disorder is very curable and I am very sure you will be fine and lead a beautiful life.

Actually, I would like you to hear from you that you are having a relationship oriented to getting married. That would be nice I think. Having the right environment. Then it will be easier to heal.

I was unable to heal myself after my dad threw me out of house, when I moved to another country, with no job or money and afterwards, I went to the army for quite some time, because it was supposedly obligatory by the country and if you opt out, you'd be some kind of social outcast, perhaps denied access to certain jobs etc (by the way, that's one of the most crazy places a person can be).

Once I got out of the army, I got a job and then dealed with my issues, living at last, at a normal environment.

beatachica wrote:

SmallTalkRed wrote:somebody,

I do have severe PTSD. I am a survivor of long term of sexual trauma.
24/7 from the ages of 10-15. So really I have overcome so many things (like climbing the Great Wall of China). I am not looking for kudo's, but I know myself very well and I came out the otherside of the ordeal wiser and stronger than I ever thought possible.

I am open about it, I dont blame myself, but I also know that others are not in the same place as I am in healing. That's ok to.

So it may not be that I "trust" everyone I meet, and in the back of my mind, Sexual predator is always there. But I cant cut off my life for these monsters to control. I guess I used the wrong words.

Lets just say, when I meet someone I dont think that they are a sexual pervert until they prove otherwise. I used to do that. It made the world a scary place.

Did we go off topic? Sorry if we did. No worries..continue.....

did it take you some time to admit that the abuse ever happened in the first place? in other words, did you ever go through a stage of denial? sorry to go off topic

Is that some sort of amnesia beatachica? Like it happened but it was erased from you memory?