how do you take care of yourself better with mental illness?

My boyfriend of 3 years left me last night. He said he couldn't deal with me anymore. He told me that I don't take care of myself and I make my issues worse by doing so. IE I don't sleep when I should, eat enough, or eat when I should, do things that would make myslf feel better. He told me that he can't continue to see me if I not only don't work on things hard enough, but seem to actively try to make things worse.

I don't feel like I'm trying to make it worse, but I probably don't do whatt I should be doing to be at my best. I don't know why I don't do it. It's not because of lack of energy, because I can take care of others. My therapist had said something about self-subjugation before. Whatever the reason I don't realize I'm doing it. How can I take better care of myself? And what do I do if I don't know I'm doing it? Do I have to make a timed schedule to do things like eat, sleep, pamper myself, etc? Do other people have to do this? Does anyone else have this problem? If it's selfIesteem related how do I get self-esteem? I would appreciate any answers, advise, insight, or stories.

Thank you!

Hi, fyre_n_raine! First of all, though I'm not experienced in relationships, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you.

I understand what it's like to abandon taking care of yourself. I remember how I would at times (and still do) never find the energy to take care of yourself or just ignore it though you know that you don't look/smell very good.

I've never really done the schedule thing, but you can do that if you feel like it could help you. Go to the bathroom and brush your hair if you haven't already. Then wash your face and brush your teeth, etc. I think that self-esteem comes along with taking care of yourself as well. It may be hard, but try to give yourself compliments like, "My eyes look pretty today", stuff like that. I wish you luck!

Im exactly the same! I sort of feel as if I need a physical list to follow daily. Its just flippin' hard to start since its not something im used to. You dont have anything to lose by caring for yourself I bet itll get easier though and soon enough we will both be self-loving!

My opinion; take what you like and leave the rest...

Sounds like you don't really like your boyfriend much and it sounds like he never accepted you the way you are!
Not a good match!

Sorry- I'll start with I'm cold now and I prefer it.

I'd leave him, he sounds like a sub par partner and in the long run hopefully things pan out better. It seems like he finds it easier to find and create a problem with who you are than creating a solution that works for both of you without slighting you. If someone gives you a stupid ultimatum like that you should let them go. If they are willing to leave over such trivial issues ... Whatever. I'm going to leave it with you should put yourself first and always strive towards that. Easier said than done I know, but a miles still a mile, keep walking. I'm new here dunno rules about direct advice mods pls warn/delete if its not formatted properly.