im screaming out for help silently

hey ummm, this is the first time ive used this, dont even know if im doing it right, but i hope i am, here goes. Im a 16 year old female whose mother died 2 years ago. i have been chronically ###$ around by low lifes and have been depressed for many years. my mother used to beat me, she even tried to drown me. i tried to forget about all that after she died and shut myself off from reality. i started getting boyfriends a year ago and was sexually active. i fell inlove with a boy after 3 useless attempts and he screwed me around and got another girlfriend. i tried to get over that but it was a struggle, i made a best friend tho! i did everything for her to please her. she decided to one day start hating me and spread rumours around my community, attacking me anyway she could, she even sent a picture of me smoking bongs to the cops. i lost all control, i isolated myself from everything, i started cutting myself again and had afew attempts at suicide, i overdosed on heroin and sexually exploited myself just to get away, to make myself feel wanted. about 2 weeks ago i finally went to a party and made good friends, i thought it all was going ok (by the way i was on anti depressants for a long time and only stopped taking them tonight). I have been through 3 abortions, my mums will money and childcare support money was used for her brother to buy drugs, my house burnt down and my father is struggling with a law suit for country energy. Just last night I was diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia and I don’t know how to break it to my father. The anti depressants made the bipolar worse and I have daylight halucinations and chronic paranoia. That’s my story!

Im really sorry that you had to go through all of that...If you ever need anybody to talk to you can pm me.

It sounds like you have every right to say your life has sucked so far. BUT..... you can change that. Who diagnosed you with bipolar/schizophrenia? Are there support groups for you in your area? If so, go to them. There are people out there willing & able to help you, you just need to pull up your boot straps & go find them. Take pride in yourself! Look at how much you have been through & you are still here. You have a purpose in life. Please do not give up on yourself. Have your medical/mental provider help you find the right combination of med.s. This will help you not "self medicate" with drugs. Most bipolar or schizophrenic people turn to pot, meth, herion, or whatever they can get their hands on. My Honey who is bipolar, said he used meth because it helped him focus. (He is mainly manic) But in all actuality, it didn't help him focus, it helped him become obcessed with unrealistic ideas. It also helped him become addicted to one of the worse brain rotting deamons out there.
My point is, you have accepted your illness, that is a huge!step! You can control you destiny. You can make a better life for yourself. You are worth all the wonderful things life has to offer.
You can PM me if ever you wanna talk.
Peace out!
Bev