please help me (super long)

I've been in a relationship with a man who's been getting treated for a mental illness. schizophrenia was the diagnosis way before I came into the picture. Meds were given/taken. Meds were stopped all together a few times, and things were fine in his life.

I've been with him for 5 years now, and 5 horrible years of the battles and roller coaster rides. Most people would wonder why we bothered staying together with the way things were between us... Cause it was just about the worst thing you or anyone could dare to imagine.
But why we stayed together doesn't seem so important right now.

My frustration is so beyond what I could deal with. The hurt. the heart breaks.

I'm feeling completely cluessless as to what's going on...He doesn't share as much as I'd like. But it's also something I don't want to push.

I know NONE of this is easy on him, as it's by far easy on me. We have two small girls together.

He's accussed me of cheating on him. Which I never have done. He's convinced himself of so many crazy things, that he can't listen to reason or believe anything else. Things have been twisted in his own memory and memories mixed with another time period.
He tells me I've said or done things I've NEVER done or said.

This has all been on going for 5 years. Things have now just begun to smooth out as he has indeed put a lot of effort into not allowing himself to allow himself to think the worst of it all.

The only serious problem is, the meds he's been continued on, although they may not be needed due to mis-diagnosis of schizophrenia, they are making him depressed, lazy, and very tired. he has a bit of a temper.

Each new med he's given alters him in a way. and it's not easy. not easy for him, or myself and two girls.

my issues are, I have no one I can talk with. I feel alone and tired.
I asked him to leave here tonight, which he did... we argued again,
summing it all up, I hit the end of my rope on going day to day with someone who stayed at home to care for the girls while I went to work (he's on pension disability pay which brings in 1800 a month for us) But I needed to work, so, day after day, I just sat and watched an unhappy man, a man who seemed almost lifeless.

And it was killing me in more ways than can be counted, and I just snapped. His moods, his attitude was too much for me to bear.

I feel that asking him to leave was a mistake. But this has been 5 years of heart break. I've begun doubting it would all change.
I do have myself and the girls to think of.

Don't get me wrong now, we love each other dearly. But our troubles is his illness. It stands in our way, and we can't get passed it. I too will admit I've been no angel in this entire relationship. I've made mistakes, and made bad choices. But none he's accused me of (cheating)...

I've never had a real base of support for myself in living with a person with a mental illness.

It's been a long journey, and I don't know if I've made the right choice. I asked him to leave for a few reasons...

them being
I couldn't live with the lifelessness in him
the depression
the temper (wasn't abusive as in anger towards us)
the laziness.
the rudeness in him (which wasn't who he was when I met him)

He wasn't like this for 24/7, and I admit he always tried to spare us, but the times he didn't, it all just seemed so overwhelming and it drowns me. Life became hard to live with each down swing of it all. it was happening more and more too often in the past few days that I just couldn't handle it anymore. that on top of caring for a house of messes (clothes and boxes to be unpacked), two little girls under the age of two after a days work in a warehouse.

Did I do the right thing? By telling him to get out? Or should I have waited it out? I seriously don't know what to do next. And I'm feeling at a total loss.

If you can agree, that his illness, was keeping him from being an "effective father figure";
I will agree that you made the right choice.

I offer you my condolences.

I think you have made the right decision, but remember you need time out for you. it sounds like your stressed out, it can be hard bringing children up, and exspecially 2 under the age of three. See if you can get a granparent to babysit and have time for yourself. In this time you can have a good think and decide what is best for you and your children.

Good Luck hun,