it's very long, but if sum1 has the time, i really need help

i'm starting to think that i may be stuck in a friendship that is very emotionally abusive. i've been 'best friends' with this person for about three years now. in that time i have isolated some really good people who used to be my friends. no one who i am close to has ever had a good feeling about me being friends with this person. i wanted them to be wrong so badly, but i am now starting to think that they may have been right all along.
the friend that i am talking about is bipolar. we moved away to college together and became roomates last fall of 2005. we are wrapping up our freshman year.
at this point, when we moved away from our home town, i already felt like my life was consumed by her. i stuck by her as she was kicked out of her house on multiple occasions, got in serious trouble with the law for illegal drugs, kicked out of school, and so on and so on. i was just about all she had left. i would drive half an hour to pick her up and half an hour to take her to work (she got her license taken away and hasn't had one for about 2 1/2 years now).. i'd stick up for her regardless of what happened. i'd lie to my parents and other friends when something went wrong, because i was afraid that they would blame her. when she was upset and yelling at me, i never yelled back, and did everything in my power to make things go the way she wanted. and i just felt like i was doing what any good friend would do.
i always thought that i would go to college far away and out of state... most likely in kentucky, where my older brother goes. i had everything turned in, paid $300 for housing.. and then changed my mind because i knew if i didn't go to college with my friend, she probably wouldn't go. and who knew what would become of her then.
when we became roommates, i told myself i wasn't going to let her do the same thing to me here as she did back home. we were going to be best friends, because we were ofcourse 'like sisters to each other' but i was going to stick up for myself and not let her walk all over me.
but things were worse than ever. she still had complete control over me. and worse, i was incapable of making friends because of her jealousy. then one night at a party, my friend had a violent mood swing in which i was the target. she punched me in the face out of nowhere, and had it not been for people breaking us apart, would have probably beaten me up pretty badly.
even after this, we were still friends. after writing me a long letter telling me how sorry she was and how she loved me and thought of me as her sister, i forgave her.
at this point i realized that there was a problem with me and my friend, but there was nothing i could do about it. i did finally build up the courage to move out of the room. things were looking to be better.. i'd made a couple of pretty good friends who recognized that i really needed to get away from this relationship. but it didn't last. i am still wrapped around her finger. i am still terrified of what she will do to me, herself, or anyone else if i upset her. i have trouble staying friends with other people. i dont have relationships with guys. i sometimes have one-night-stands, and afterwards feel absolutely HORRIBLE about them. i am most of the time depressed, and have often used razorblades to cut my skin. i get really anxious for no apparant reason, and am really paranoid about stuff. (when someone doesn't answer my phone call, i wonder if they've been in a car wreck... i wil convince myself that i have a terminal illness... etc..)
this past weekend, my friend had a complete breakdown. after her and her boyfriend broke up thursday, she went completely nuts in her room... broken mirror, ripped up pictures and posters... she has a cut running all the way up her left arm, and numerous other smaller cuts.
after this, i didn't leave her side. i took her to the pharmacy and bought her bandages and peroxide, drove her around so she could talk about stuf.. all the things a good concerned friend would do. i just am at the point where i don't know what to say to her anymore. i can't play psychiatrist. she is not the same person as she was in the first couple months or so that we were friends. i am so scared for her. i've been trying to enourage her to get professional help.
after all of this, she continues to lash out at me... screaming yelling telling me she hates me and to f*ck off when not even 20 minutes ago absolutely nothing was wrong. i know that it isn't her fault, and i really want to help her... i just feel like i have honestly given her all that i have to give, and now there is nothing left. nothing to even help myself.
i am not the same person i used to be either. i used to be happy.. and friendly to everyone. i was known for my huge heart. and the most far gone is my creativity. since i can remember i have been extremely creative. i have loved writing since i was probably 8. i can't remember the last time i tried to write.. or draw, or paint or any of the things that i used to do. i feel like i am nothing but an empty shell.
and i feel like if i don't get out of this relationship right now, i will comlpetely lose the tiny bit of me that is left. but i just can not do it. i am absoluetly terrified. i feel like i am betraying her, and that that makes me a horrible person. ive realized that this is not right, and i really think that i need to get help.
...are the problems that i myself have related to my relationship with this friend?
...how can i convince her she NEEDS to get help?
...is it wrong to feel this way?
...am i too far gone for saving?
...has anyone had similar experiences with a relationship like this?
i know this is really long, so thankyou to anyone who has taken the time to read this. eventually i would like to talk to my mom, and maybe eventually a therapist... i just know that i am not really ready to open up about it, or face up to my friend yet.
i am truly at the end of my rope, and could really use any advice that anyone is willing to give

You have issues of your own, unrelated to the friendship, but the basic rule of therapy is that someone in a dysfunctional relationship cannot get better until they are out of the relationship. And here's the kicker: You think you are helping her. You think you are doing all this for her. You are making her worse. Yes, that's right: The co-dependency blade cuts both ways.

So. Here is my advice. You're worried about what she might do to you if you leave the friendship? Distance is the single most important factor in leaving dysfunctional relationships. Transfer to that school in Kentucky.

In answer to your following questions:

...are the problems that i myself have related to my relationship with this friend?
...how can i convince her she NEEDS to get help?
...is it wrong to feel this way?
...am i too far gone for saving?
...has anyone had similar experiences with a relationship like this?

1. Yes and no.
2. You can't.
3. No.
4. No.
5. Yes.

The only thing stopping either of you from getting better is you.

Good luck. And I mean that about Kentucky.

Alethiea has GREAT advice for you.....I only disagree w/ one thing though, respectfully disagree that is! ....... you can't look at this situation as whether or not you are keeping your friend from getting better. I personally believe, from what you describe, that your friend is in a place that goes beyond you. And that your being in her life is simply a trigger. Meaning that yes, your removing yourself from her life is going to be a good thing in that it will be one less trigger, but only she can help her self at this point. Counseling would be very beneficial. You can't "heal" her.

You need to focus on you. You need to stop looking at this situation as how it will affect your friend and start looking at the choices before you as to how they will affect your life. You truly have to start evaluating YOUR life before you completely shatter your life and those around you that love you (your true friends....FAMILY). You have a chance for a good, strong future ....Alethiea has good advice for you and I agree w/ her....I think transfering to Kentucky is a good chance at a good clean break for you and a chance for a fresh start. Consider some counseling once you get there and do some work on yourself. Now is a great time to really work on yourself. It's not up to you to fix your friend. It's up to you to work on and fix you. I'm not saying you shouldn't care about your friend. But you are not doing well yourself and right now your 1st priority has to be to you.