Am I going crazy?!

I'm in need of help and I'm very afraid.

I've begun to hear voices a little short than a year ago. My family situation has not been the best being that my father (biological) is a alcoholic and also abusive towards my mother. I look a like my father's mother which possibly explains why he is nicer to me than my older sister and younger brother. This is also what i feel to be the reason why my mother is emotionally and physically abusive towards me.

My mother has always been abusive to me both physically and emotionally. She constantly belittles me and curses me and everything about me. She praises my sister constantly and compares us to no end with my sister being a sort of god and me a disgusting,putrid child, the black sheep of the family.

I've been dealing with this since childhood. And I built up walls to protect myself and to put a distance to not just her abuse but also other things as well. I already have very low self-esteem and I hear voices as well and have lately been losing sleep.

The voices (there are four) are named: Damien,Benvolio,Skel and Genie. Ben and Damien are boys while Genie and Skel are girls. Damien tells me I'm worthless and constantly belittles me. Ben and Genie try to reasure me that I'm wonderful and try to rebuild my self-esteem. Skel puts anxiety and paranoia in my head and makes me run away and also recoil when she deems it right. I've been with Skel and Damien since childhood and they helped me build up my mental wall to avoid been hurt.

Lately they've been screaming and I have glimpses of them too! The abuse is still going on and Damien yells at me that only he can belittle me. I'm scared and I don't know if I'm going insane or what. I've only told one person about this ordeal and I really want answers! Please any help or advice is much help!

From what you've said, you've been hearing these voices more for much more than a year now. If you have "been with Skel and Damien since childhood", there's some substantial history, here.

Here's what I find interesting. At two points, you mentioned that Damien belittles you, but then you later stated that Damien helped you build your mental wall. Are you sure about that? You mentioned that you have low self-esteem; being belittled doesn't always make one tougher. Sometimes, it breaks them down even further. I just want to make sure you're not giving credit where credit isn't due.

Overall, I think that you should see a therapist, and sooner rather than later. If you're having auditory and even visual hallucinations on this scale and with this frequency, your mind is obviously freaked right the hell out over what is going on in the real world and my guess is that it's trying to use these voices to bring some sense of order and calm to your life. Generally, home is considered "safe." It's where people can go to get away from the stress of the world for a while. However, from what you're saying, going home walks you right into the source of the stress, so your mind has to create its own safe haven. And no one should have to go through that.

So please, go see a therapist. Just having a live person to confide in, if nothing else, could do you a world of good. I'm not saying that we're not here for you, because we sure as hell are, but no text on a screen can replace a live human, listening to your every word. I think it could help.