Hmm..

Well - I'm new to this forum, etc., etc., You can call by my nickname "Beta" if you want. I'm a 19 year old Caucasian male...so yeah, introductions and all out of the way...forgive me if I act like I don't know what I'm talking about because honestly I'm not very educated on the subject...so...

Ever since I can remember, I stole things. When I was five I began stealing my mother's rings and hiding them between the pages of books (I was/am an avid reader, heh). Sometimes I would feel guilty and return them, and other times she would find them herself. I'd keep doing it over and over again without really understanding why I wanted to do it.

I stole things a lot in school, too - in elementary school I would steal other students' jewelry and stuff and hide them in a box at home. I got in very large trouble once because I got caught stealing some shiny, reflective buttons off of somebody's science project in 4th grade. That was the only time I ever got caught, however.

In middle school and high school, I started to find myself taking random objects without really intending to - it just happened. In contrast to my earlier thefts, these were usually meaningless objects that had no value to me, like pens and papers and marbles and things. Also, this usually occurred after a stressful event like a failed test or an argument with a friend. I found it made me feel more in control, so I didn't bring it to anyone's attention.

When I was 17 I went to a wedding with my family, which i was very angry about having to go to. While at the hotel that it was being hosted at, I formed a crude plan to steal as much as I could from the place. I ended up stealing a load of silverware, about 75 pieces, which I discarded when I got home. The thing I noticed was that it made me feel a lot calmer and more in-control of the situation while at the wedding.

Around that time I started dreaming up very bizarre action fantasies, usually centered around bank robberies and the like. They were really violent and childish, and again - usually a response to my feeling upset or threatened. That's a whole different issue I think though, not one for this forum.

I still steal things, and I don't feel all that bad about it - years ago, I did, but not now. I have however managed to limit when and what and how much I steal, to a degree.

I am not sure, but this doesn't fit what I know to be kleptomania, at least not entirely. Some of the stuff fits, but other stuff - like the planning and intentional targeting of the most desirable objects available to me - does not. I could be wrong, because I can't find much on the 'net about kleptomania; most of the sites on it just copy each other from what I have seen.

There is another related behavior that I think conflicts with what I know of kleptomania, and that is the fact that I keep things as trophies. As far back as my elementary school years, I have hoarded valuable objects and kept them in secret collections to be viewed when I am in need of, for lack of better terms, both an ego booster when I feel depressed (which is often) and also to give me a kick when I am feeling bored, because I can't stand even a small amount of boredom and I get bored very, very easily.

I am just curious as to the origins of some of these behaviors. Are they part of some type(s) of kleptomania, or are they of a different breed entirely?

There's a lot more that I have to say, but I would rather only give the relevant info at this time. I apologize if I came off as arrogant or weird or acting like a twit or anything. Also I apologize for the length of this thing, because I tend to ramble a lot. >_>

Things of note are that I have been diagnosed with ADD and bipolar disorder, and have been told that I exhibit many behaviors/symptoms of borderline personality, though I have not actually been formally diagnosed yet. I will stop there because I don't want to start rambling again. I'll cover any issues with that stuff another time.

If anyone wants to respond to this, please feel free..
Thanks for reading.

Hi,

It could be that at this stage in your life the stealing is just a habit that you have. Considering that it's a habit, it'll be quite difficult to break. I'm just puzzlerd by one thign though: Do you actually view this as a problem? The smiley-face that you use at the end of your message tells me that you view this as something that isn't too much of a problem.

Kevin

It's not that high on my list of things to worry about. I'm actually more curious than concerned. I've learned to keep myself under control most of the time anyway, though sometimes I still can't help myself. Like I said though, it's not a huge thing to me anymore. I'm sort of used to it, I guess, like you said.

Hi again,

Have you ever been caught?; If so, what did you think then?

Kevin

Chucky wrote:Hi again,

Have you ever been caught?; If so, what did you think then?

Kevin

If you mean arrested, then no. Most of that has to do with luck, I guess. I was caught by teachers several times in high school, mostly due to the frequency with which I was stealing things, and given detentions and talks by the principal and some other people. I didn't really feel anything but irritation and resentment when that occurred, except for once. I stole something from a teacher that I got along well with, a really large blue marble that a previous student had given her. Soon after, I felt bad for having stolen it, and went back and turned myself in to her, as well as returning the object. My teacher turned me over to the principal and I was given a bunch of detentions, but I felt like I deserved them for once, since I had stolen from somebody who was respectful of me.

That was also the last time I got caught by anybody.

That's fair enough - at least you know that you can feel sorry for people and can take responsibility. I remember once I wrote on the wall in a classroom with charcoal (it was actually a huge scribble) and the teacher noticed it immediately. I also owned up to it immediately and I think my honesty got me out of trouble. All I had to do was go to the janitor, get a cloth and some cleaner-fluid, and clean it off.

Kevin

That's fair enough - at least you know that you can feel sorry for people and can take responsibility. I remember once I wrote on the wall in a classroom with charcoal (it was actually a huge scribble) and the teacher noticed it immediately. I also owned up to it immediately and I think my honesty got me out of trouble. All I had to do was go to the janitor, get a cloth and some cleaner-fluid, and clean it off.

Kevin