Throughout this upcoming week I have exams--

as usual I proceed towards those -
sound-daunting-but-once-it's-time-there-just-tests like a blindfolded trapeze artist.
Guys I've been through a lot this year. It's largely seems the further disspitating of the cruddy past I've had and me having an aggravating time with getting over the "
returned" presence of a someone who I used to have a crush on in high school. Dang it there's a very real chance she could figure out what I've been writing seeing as how I sent her journal excerpts though I really doubt she'll do that.

What has aggravated me is how even though I am more wel-adjusted and have a better grip on myself than back when circumstantial junk like not only a salty student body but a poser teacher among a staff with a "
our gang" attitude amplified things toxically into a *psychological* fight for survival for me.Now that were both adults she still doesn't talk to me... =_= ..
Impermenance, I have to tell myself. There's always a choice, someone told me. The struggle to leave community college intact is my main priority. I'm scared for dreamweaver on Monday but I'm esp. scared for the exam on Microsoft Access on Thursday. I suppose I have a bit of 'wiggle room' for Excel and Word...

..how I communicate is subject to change. When the imprisonment like sentiment in me ends I'll be more up to talking to my cousins and I suppose here as well in a different ways.
May optimality shine through and take anyone ready this to a prime moment.
Perhaps when exams are over; until next time--