As a child I had many dreams, many interests. I wanted to be a Pharmacist, a micro biologist, a scientist, maybe a marine biologist.
I asked my 'parents' who had never shown any interest in my school work, or much interest in me at all really, if I could go to college/uni.
I was 16 years old and just leaving school, (1960s) I asked my father he said ask your mother. I asked mother, ignoring, malignant narcissistic 'mother' .
She said 'If you think we are keeping you you got another thing coming because we ARE NOT. You will get a job and pay your way.
I had no money, no support, no where else to go, no self esteem, social anxiety and depression.
I left school on a Friday and was forced to start work in a factory on the Monday.
It was f###ing agony SOOO boring and so what I did NOT want to do.
Still, it suited narc parents, mother liked me to be miserable, she never could bear it if I so much as smiled. She got her way as she always did.
I married to escape 'home'.
I now realize my ex husband was NPD. I'd married my mother!! YUK
I didn't know what normal was really, I'd lived a childhood of neglect, mother liked schadenfreude. She hated me. Nice mommie.
I stayed at home to look after my children, who I love dearly.
I had Greatexpectations once, just dreams I've even giving up on those now it ain't gonna happen.
Sorry for the whine.