Let's write a story?

... Alex.
"Not!" he spit with bitterness.
At first he was grateful for Saucy's favor but he'd realized, "Everything is about Saucy! Saucy, Saucy, Saucy!"
"When will it be my turn?" he shrieked, "Why don't you see me?!"

Everyone was so busy surveilling Alex's temper tantrum, that they didn't see the tears streaming down Grandma Wilkinson's cheeks or her thin fragile frame shaking with laughter.

She'd been tempted to stay back and lend that stud, Rex, a hand while everyone else jumped through the window, but this was too entertaining to miss.

Pity though, she had been anxious to try out what she'd learnt after the crow showed her how to go into the internet to that Hub that had all those videos. That crow had some nerve to call her a "Corrr" since he was the one who showed her.

*grunt, grunt, grunt*  
Rex was becoming angry
*Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!*

Datura sighed to herself, "He's still going at it. I don't know how much more I can take."

Rex was making her feel guilty
- that was the real reason she requested he stop.
For she had a kind, loving heart, and she too, knew what it was like to long for something she could never have.

She decided the situation was worth blowing her cover.
*Pop*
The group turned to see just in time (where Datura had been standing) a cobra, with bared fangs dripping with venom, strike Rex where he had been trying to reach, and return to back normal.
Seconds later, Rex looked down to find himself swelling and growing like Pinocchio's nose.

"Datura! What have you done?"

She shrugged, "Worry not, it won't harm him. Now he'll never struggle to reach himself again."

"Awe that's very kind of you," the group remarked ....  everyone except Rex.
He was whimpering. Again.

This time, the whimpers weren't accompanied by flailing or tapping or bouncing, Rex was frozen in terror with eyes wide.

They followed his gaze and discovered that the source of his terror was ....

The severed head of Sparklepony hurtling through the trees at not quite the speed of light.

"who threw that"? Said HSS

"How rude"! Exclaimed Oblivion

"It wasn't me" said Manners looking guilty

"nor me" added Datura

"I can't throw" piped Reaper "but I do own an extensive collection of butter knives from IKEA".

Everyone had forgotten poor Rex who at this point was sparked out, face down in the foliage after being hit with tremendous force by the severed head.

There was glue and glitter and bits of fluff all over the....

... forgotten tacos and floating around in the water.

A rare Buddha cane toad plopped down smugly on one of the tacos, wearing a bit of Sparklepony severed remains for a crown, flinging out its tongue trying to catch the bits of glitter and fluff that had not yet settled to the ground.

"It was me, #####&!" shrieked Alex, eyes bulging, with even more severed Sparklepony heads under his arm.

HSS raised their eyebrows at Oblivion.
"Looks like he's still all worked up" mused Oblivion.
Manners titled her head, "wish I'd gotten a chance to refill my can of laughter. It would be nice to drown this idiot out."
Datura on the other hand, found loud noises alarming and had instinctively buried her head in dirt - positioned just like an ostrich.

Then Alex...

Looked up. He hadn't realised that for his whole entirety he had never looked up before.

He didn't know what to make of the sheer majesty which beheld his vision.

"what can this be"? He said to everyone and no one.

It was a good thing he hadn't expected an answer because nobody responded. Well not with words anyway. They were all to busy contemplating the massacre he had just admitted to.

"I think he's gone stark raving bonkers" said HSS to Oblivion. He meant to say these words to Datura but with with her head firmly planted in the ground he instinctively knew he wouldn't be heard and as for Manners, well she was to busy collecting the many Sparklepony heads and bits of glitter to make use of later.

"I think the strain has taken a toll on all of us HSS" replied Oblivion "Here, give me a hand we need to pull Datura out of the ground".

They pulled and they pulled and they pulled but her head seemed to have taken root.

Manners then tried to help and the three of them pulled and they pulled and they pulled but still she wouldn't budge.

At last Alex took his head out of the clouds and joined in. The four of them pulled and pulled and pulled, until at long last....

... the Reaper-bot finally decided dislodging Datura was something they could help with.

The Reaper-bot glided purposefully over to the others tugging away at Datura, and raised its scythe, taking aim at the little bit of her neck protruding from the dirt.

The others flung themselves back, "What are you doing, Reaper-bot?"

"Getting Datura out," it said, with its face set in concentration, looking for the perfect angle to swing the scythe. 

"Reaper-bot... that would entirely defeat the purpose."

Reaper-bot went off on them and started echolocating profanities in all directions.

Now that Datura felt everyone had stopped pressuring her and trying to tell her what to do by way of trying to force her out of the ground, Datura dislodged herself out of the earth - on her own volition - in one simple, swift bounce.

Manners couldn't say she wasn't a little disappointed, she had exactly enough room for one more severed head.

A glow cast itself over the entire scene.

It was coming from ...

..Saucy's saucer.

His trip through the time portal had sent him back to his home planet, but he had grown fond of the Black Cherry Slurpee forest and all of it's denizens, so commandeered a ship and returned.

"I come bearing gifts!" He shouted with glee. "Merry Christmas to everyone!"

Everyone but Alex, who was sick and tired of all of the attention Saucy was getting. Seething, he pulled off a nearby vine and began to use it to strangle Oblivion for writing Saucy back into the story.

"Die, you miserable weedhead bastard!" he grunted.

Oblivion struggled fiercely. He groped for Alex's eyes but to no avail. He was rapidly losing strength.

Combing the earthworms out of her hair, Datura watched with passing interest. Rex was too enthralled with his cobra venom infused dick to even notice, and as usual, Manners was wheezing in the mud, shoving dandelions up her ass. Everyone else had followed Grandma Wilkins to the toilet. She had promised them all an indelible surprise.

Who would save Oblivion? And what was Grandma Wilkins' surprise?

WE INTERRUPT THIS STORY TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

JEFFREY EPSTEIN DID NOT KILL HIMSELF!!!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Things looked pretty dark for Oblivion, and they would have been, had Grandma Wilkinson not planned to use Alex in her surprise.

Well, she really had not planned to use him, but she had to settle because she doubted Rex would ever tire of his new novelty - Damn that Datura!

Setting out to find Alex, she left everyone in that hole of a trucker's stop bathroom with Epstein's body (which had randomly appeared at the same time Saucy came back, leaving it to suspiciously look like Saucy went grave robbing before returning to the story).

Grandma Wilkinson came up from behind her soon to be grande finale glory surprise; and, with convincing tenderness, stroked the side of his face, slowing near his mouth to slide her pinky finger in it.
"I need you to save some of that fire, Alex"

Stunned, Alex slackened his strangulation attempts on Oblivion who collapsed into the mud next to Manners.

Manners winging a dandelion head at them, said "you really need to start pulling your weight around here instead of trying to trick people into choking you out."

"Come." Grandma Wilkinson curtly ordered Alex, pointing to the bathroom and snapped the switch she created out of the vine Alex had been trying to strangle Oblivion with.

Alex....

Looked down and realised that he had been wearing odd shoes the whole time.

He couldn't think how he could have possibly made such a faux pas as one shoe was lace up and the other was a slip on platform out of grandma Wilkinsons cubbyhole.

With this thought he knew that the portal goes straight to grandma's cubbyhole because he can smell it on Saucy.

He passively followed grandma into the bathroom all the while trembling with fear and adrenaline for he knew what fate would be in wait for him on the other side of the bathroom door.

Meanwhile...

...the battle between The Wallhonklers and Chester's Dungbeetle Brigade raged on. General Phlegm, never one to pass up a good wanking, had wandered into the trap set by his vengeful daughter and found himself strung up by his toes over the Pit of Arby's.

"Schnock gigjam! Klopwich vee tan zenfarg!" cried the flaming maiden. "Krump taggen der pestuleez?"
But despite her plea, Yogi continued to fling hand-formed lamb patties at the sheep, angering the goats, which in turn enraged the Korean magician, who, in his rage, assembled the last of the lasagne people. Hot cheesy and dripping with meat sauce, Harlan Parmesan saw his chance and fled the country, preferring instead to set up his laundry factory at the foot of the hill.

"This will not do!" snapped the king. "More ketchup!"

"Nonsense!" Said Joyce. "That fish is in here somewhere and I will find it!"

HSS peeked out from under the idling Toyota of Shame but quickly withdrew at the sight of the worms. They were already drunk at eight in the morning and they hadn't even reached Malibu yet.

He had no idea what the hell was going on..