Let's write a story?

The perfect distraction to thwart T-Rex! He knows how much T-Rex likes it when he dresses up like a chicken while wearing these boots (although he's always wondered why T-Rex is so drawn to relatives - albeit very, very, distant ones)

Brontosaurus clucks his special cluck that always captivates T-Rex' attention, but this time T-Rex doesn't respond the way he normally would. Instead, he...

Lit a spliff and sang "Bound for the land of Canaan".

Brontosaurus what more than a little perplexed with this and shuffled sideways into the...

chicken shed.
Upon seeing him, the chickens trembled with delight, except for Claire, who wasn't a chicken at all, but in fact was a chicken, and was not impressed with Brontosaurus' seductive posturing at the door of the shed.
"Do y'all like the way the setting sun silhouettes my purple body?" Brontosaurus asked. "Am I turning you on?"
"You are not." Claire said.
"But I love you..."
"A Lady of my caliber would not be caught dead with the likes of you!" Clair averred.
Brontosaurus began to sing, "I love you, you love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?"
Claire froze. Her beak hung open in shock. "...Barney?" She gasped.
"That's meeee!" Brontosaurus said, arms outstretched.
Claire remembered that night on the moors so many years ago. She remembered the Three Horses Of Hades and the apparition which warned her of this day. She would have to tread lightly. The future of the Chicken Empire was now at stake.
"Gimme a hug!" Barney said.
Claire's gaze rose to meet his eyes. "So it was to be you after all..." She said.
Barney's arms fell to his sides. His idiot smile faded. He considered her for a moment, and then spoke: "Yes. I am the one they sent."
"Did you bring the scrolls?"
"I did."
"And the incantation? You have it memorized?"
"I do."
"Then we shall begin."
That was when the Monster Truck plowed into the shed, killing them all.

But fret not dear audience - This story does not finish prematurely!
Claire had gone to great lengths to become an imortal chicken; why she had sold her very soul for it. Barney has always been passive and proud, and she knew if things were to be done, she'd have to forge her own lonely way with the scrolls and incantation. As for those trembling, quivering, croaking and clucking ###$ encroaching upon her territory, Claire couldn't conjure up too much sympathy for them. Friends who were open to passes made by her ex-lovers deserved to be plowed by monster trucks.

She reanimated herself, and bawked her way jerkily over to the monster truck that Eve had driven into the hen house.
Eve, in her red dress, was sprawled out on the front seats still stroking her out-of-this-world fox, gazing upwards and squeezing out rings of smoke from her cigar, as if trying to toss a collar onto something no one else could see.

There was only a moment's rest for the girls to recuperate because a smell of burning hair was insidiously rising from....

her side. Secretly, the Rex witnessed the meeting between Barney and Claire. Vain as he was, he was crazy with jealousy, and he burnt with his spliff the great tarpaulin covering Alex and Claire's vehicle.
As he wished, the fire went up fast and...

...consumed them both, sending great plumes of smoke into the yellow sky, from which tiny specks of light could be seen. Growing brighter, it soon became clear that the alien ships were arriving.

Mourning the demise of his beloved Eve, Alex held her smoldering body in his arms and wept, his tears sizzling on the burning embers of her bones. The ships were closer now, moving impossibly fast, and Alex knew he alone was the only one who could defeat them.

One by one, the alien ships descended upon the horizon, glowing capsule-shaped things, radiating with blinding light, they appeared to be pills. Amphetamines, to be exact. They landed harshly within the nearby forest, hundreds of them, sending great clouds of dust into the atmosphere.

Alex marched bravely toward them, the dust stinging his eyes, turning his boogers a sickly blackish hue. He made a mental note to be careful where he wiped them--they could be infected with the alien virus.

A figure approached him as he walked. As the dust cleared he could see that it was humanoid, no more than five feet tall. A diaper covered it's head, from which protruded two great ponytails which danced joyfully in the dusty breeze. It appeared to be smoking a giant spliff.

Alex stopped. They faced each other and stood in silence. Remembering his American Indian heritage, Alex raised his right hand and said "How."

The creature responded in kind by raising it's skirt. "Greetings!" it said. "I am Saucygirl, from the planet Saucy. And these are my minions. We have come for your crystal meth."

"A teenth will set you back seventy five." Alex said.

Saucygirl's eyes became ablaze with fury. "We come not to purchase, we have come to pillage."

"Make it fifty." Said Alex.

"Oh in that case, sure, dude. Let me just get my wallet."

She reached into her pocket with a grin and pulled out a.....

bow and poison arrow, then shot Alex who collapsed to the ground for Saucy was a notorious trickster who, by moral principle, would not pay a cent for something they could pillage.
Saucy reached into their other pocket, pulling out a startled cane toad and gave it a lick while Alex just lay there like a corpse. Alex had been waiting to die, but he started to feeling increasingly strange instead.
Soon after, he realized that the arrow had a special kind of poison in it which was why Saucy was walking around with a cane toad. Alex promptly began "trippin balls."

Rex saw this as a perfect opportunity to ....

Drink from the furry cup of Saucy.

This made her squeak and Rex went soft with immediate effect but Saucy knew....

..a few rollicking show tunes known to revive acid casualties.

It worked. His brains scrambled but otherwise functional, Alex leaned up on his elbows. He spotted Saucy a few feet away, squatting over a tree stump.

"Hey, alien!" He shouted "That's some pretty good $#%^ you got there!"

"I know!" Said Saucy. "It's from the rare Pete Buddha Toad found only in the arid desert region of my home planet. You're gay now."

Alex checked. He was.

"I suppose you don't wanna get a room, or, you know, something?" asked Saucy.

"Are you a dude?"

"Actually I am. Where's my toad?"

"It hopped away."

"You ###$ $#%^ @@@@@@@ #######1 asswipe!" Saucy roared. "I need that toad to get back to my home planet!"

Alex felt guilty. Now Saucy would be stuck on earth permanently.

"We'll find it." Alex said. "Come on, Saucy, we'll find it together."

Alex and Saucy joined hands and made their way through the enchanted forest, skipping like girls. At one point they thought they had found the toad, but it turned out to be a discarded kidney.

Soon darkness began to descend. The forest turned dark and the ground became sticky with pureed cherries. They could feel the evil eyes of the forest night creatures upon them. They knew they would have to find shelter.

It wasn't long before they came upon a tiny cottage, tucked neatly in a grove of peppermint pine trees. They knocked on the door.

"Do you think anyone is home?" Saucy asked.

"There has to be," said Alex. "Look. There's a candle in the window"

With that, the door flew open. A woman with pink hair and a surly scowl glared at them. Her face was covered with whipped cream.

"Dammit," She said. "It never fails...every time I start shaving somebody knocks on my door!"

"I'm Alex and this is Saucy. May we please come in?"

"I'm Miss Manners. And you please may not!"

"Please, Miss Manners. It's dark and we're hungry and I've lost my toad." pleaded Saucy.

Mis Manners stared at them for what seemed like eternity. Chicken broth dribbled slowly down her chin. "I suppose," she said. "But first I will need you to do one thing....."

"Wut"? Said Saucy and Alex in unison.

"you must go out into the deep dark woods and fetch me back a squaredonutwheels and on your return you must....