Polite Dinner Conversation

Eight wrote:It's the dueling of the mothers here now folks

I'll see you and top that.

Oh yeah? well my mother was an adviser to Khrushchev during the Cuban missile crisis.

^ my mother advised Kennedy... and slept with him.

She's considered a war hero. Has the medal to prove it.






oh, and Kennedy said she wasn't half bad. No Marilyn Monroe but a close second.

Eight wrote:^ my mother advised Kennedy... and slept with him.

Who hasn't?

You slept with Kennedy? I am shocked!

well, probably JFK Jr. < there's a 'who wouldn't?' for sure.

oh, and I won the mother war.

Excuse me? My mother sided with the Russians. Did your mother look like a fat Peg Bundy? Did she go through men like dryer sheets? I'd come home from school and there'd be some guy at the dinner table. I stopped asking after a while because I rarely saw them more than two or three times and you were not allowed to ask my mother a question more than once. You have a little bit of gravy on your lip, by the way.

We'll have to hash it out a bit more to see who had the worst mother.

Please pass the roast goat.

This is beginning to have the markings of polite dinner conversation. Let's carry on...

naps wrote:Excuse me? My mother sided with the Russians.

And my mother was a Sunday school teacher.

Did your mother look like a fat Peg Bundy?

No, but she tattooed on her eyebrows and eyeliner. And wore a diamond in her fingernail.

Did she go through men like dryer sheets? I'd come home from school and there'd be some guy at the dinner table. I stopped asking after a while because I rarely saw them more than two or three times and you were not allowed to ask my mother a question more than once.

No, she went through men (and women) like scented oil, warm and slippery. Like incense and smoke, present but hard to see and fading with the next breeze. Like good chocolate, sweet but bitter. Like a daydream shifting into a nightmare. And questions were for those who could not play the game well.

You have a little bit of gravy on your lip, by the way.

Thank you. I found it hard to swallow for a minute.

We'll have to hash it out a bit more to see who had the worst mother.

Did people in general consider your mother to be awful?
Most of the people around us considered my mother wonderful and me lucky.
It was crazy-making.

Please pass the roast goat.

I'm sorry. We only have raw fowl. The nanny had the day off.

Yes. People are allowed to put their feet on the dining table, but only after the first bottle of port has been emptied.

Thank You
The Mgt

Eight wrote:Did people in general consider your mother to be awful?

Some people did. She had an ongoing feud with the woman who lived behind us. My aunt hated her.
I remember once when I was little she met with one of my teachers who had this weird expression the whole time. At one point her gaze shifted to me, like "You poor kid!". At the time, I thought she was saying terrible things about me to the teacher. The older I got, the more I could see her for who she really was.

She calmed down a lot after she and my father split. My first stepdad was a doctor. I think she got pills from him.

Eventually she got Alzheimer's. The nasty kind. She got paranoid. I used to smoke weed in front of her.

I'm thinking out mothers would have gotten along nicely.

MacBuddhaBurger wrote:Yes. People are allowed to put their feet on the dining table, but only after the first bottle of port has been emptied.

Thank You
The Mgt

May we dance?

naps wrote:[I'm thinking out mothers would have gotten along nicely.

I think so. They'd be out-obnoxious'ing each other, and be blissfully unaware of it.

Seems to me we've arrived at a truce in the mommy war. Detente.

My Mother was a saint but my father once grabbed his crotch and told the Hispanic lady next door, who didn’t speak any English by the way to kick him in the balls, she got one free shot then he was going to kick the $#%^ out of her husband, all with no shirt or shoes on and rocking one hell of an Irish suntan. Still not sure how that loci. Worked out in his head. I don’t even remember what the argument was about...

Crashed his motorcycle one time high a ###$ and ran from the cops and hid in some poison ivy bushes thinking they would let him go. My dad plus your moms and we got the Adams family!!