Sixoclock0 wrote:
I was skiing. ~6km uh oh, it's been 'a few years' since last time.
Skiing is my (second) favorite thing in the world.
Had a skiing situation with my father recently. Ever since I can remember he had this habit of making everything a competition - who's gonna get to the car first, swim furthest, finish their ice cream..Everything was a competition. When I was real young my mother occasionally begged him to let me win so I'd stop rolling around on the floor
, he never did though. But the last time we went skiing, he had hard time keeping up and asked for frequent breaks. I didn't really react to it, but then run into my ex couple of nights later, got severely drunk and cried my eyes out because of this.
This is how my ex reacts to my (rare, I swear) emotional outbursts:
..but that's another story.
Just thought of the recent 'schadenfreude' discussion on ASPD, and how, as a kid, I often imagined this moment of 'winning' would feel gloriously (silly youth), but (even though we stopped with the whole competition thing ages ago) it only just emphasized the fleeting nature of time and felt severely disturbing. It also made me hate competing with anyone other than myself.
I might consider opening a blog for these 'confessions' instead of torturing this place with it.
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