Words That Don't Exist But Should

Plaitformed - Braided hair?

Cruft - Portmanteau of "crust" and "rough." Something that is both rough and crusty.

"A crufty layer of ice and snow that builds up on a sidewalk as the sun melts the snow which refreezes again after the temperature drops."

"A ring of cruft around the top of a ketchup bottle, comprised of dried, hardened ketchup left over from previous users who didn't clean the bottle before replacing the cap."

May I post a word made up by someone else, like biscats? Should baby biscats be called biscuittens?

pumpkiñata. n. a pumpkin piñata. (Inspired by http://cakecentral.com/g/i/2414362/)

Bastardly. Wicked, cruel, evil.

Iain Duncan Smith's benefit reforms are bastardly.

What that Dutch zoo did to that giraffe was bastardly.

The landlady says I have to pay up my tab before I can have more beer. She's being really bastardly about it.

farticles. n. fart particles. Thanks, guys.

Confuzzled - To be confused and puzzled at the same time.

Brambulator - Device that turns bramble into something useful.

Rigabobus - An ancient man with great wisdom.

Smoogulations - To be smothered in a great fog of ideas.

Plum-apricots are called pluots, but I think "plumpercots" sounds better.

Scobbie - Pieces of fluff, lint and bits, found on carpets and floors.

Pseudoplatonic.

Describing relationships that are sexually active but on an emotional level are identical to platonic relationships.

Anthropisation

Depiction of non-human fictional characters as human or appreciably more humanoid.