Social Media - aargh!

Thanks for your kind words, NewSunRising! No, I don't have a date for my surgery yet, and I am at the mercy of the NHS & its insanely long waiting lists but it is a very good team - I can call anytime for advice. Yes, there is aftercare available, and I'll be staying with my Mum for a bit after the op (that will have its own challenges but I'll save that for another forum lol!)

I'm not really upset by the group's lack of interest on FB, because I wasn't relying on it, but I was rather gobsmacked (as we say here in the UK!) Tbh I rather like SpongeBob (in the right context lol)! In a way it's kind of freed me from bending over backwards to please them lol!

I will keep you posted!

lonelydaydream wrote: it is a very good team - I can call anytime for advice. Yes, there is aftercare available, and I'll be staying with my Mum for a bit after the op (that will have its own challenges but I'll save that for another forum lol!)

That's great ! I won't fret about you then . And you can always come here and vent about Mum if you need to .

lonelydaydream wrote:In a way it's kind of freed me from bending over backwards to please them lol!

Freeing yourself your own doing ... well done for according them all the importance they deserve ( which is not very much , in my opinion ) .

Thanks NewSunRising! I love my Mum but she's a force of nature lol!

I'm suffering some FB related anxiety this evening, even though I was determined to let it go. I was going to my Fellowship group tonight, but my tummy has been awful all day & I'm in and out of the bathroom so I decided at the last minute that I'd better give it a miss. Annoying! Anyway, I'd already mentioned on FB that I was going to Fellowship but decided not to say I wasn't going as it meant no-one would be wondering where I was! There have been floods of messages from the group I've been talking about! I saw a couple of them & felt really panicky - someone said "lonelydaydream is at a Fellowship meeting tonight!" to which another person replied "Damn that girl is always on the run!" Yer wot?! I've now put my phone on Airplane Mode so I won't get any more messages tonight, and I'm resigning as an admin of the group in the morning. Can't take any more lol!

Apologies for the broken record impression! You've been very patient with me - I appreciate it!

So sorry you're having tummy trouble ! I hope it settles down soon ...

The FB anxiety is completely understandable . You're changing a habit that has become unhealthy . It will take a while before not logging in on impulse becomes your new " normal " .

As for the group ...cutting the cord is rarely a one step process . I think you are doing right by using the " slow fade " . They'll adapt to your decision to be less present . You don't have to give it up completely if it's something you enjoy but stepping back a bit seems to be working for you . Good idea turning on the airplane mode !

Just remember that you make the rules for how much of yourself you are willing to give . That doesn't make you a selfish person . It makes you someone with healthy boundaries , both for you and for the people in your life . ( people need boundaries ! )

I know it's hard to lose a good admin on a forum but even here , we all agree - our own well being comes first . We have said sad good-byes to some wonderful folks , but we are happy in the knowledge that they made a decision that is right for them .

No broken record worries ! Talking things out is healing and necessary . It's what we're all about here .

Thanks so much for your kind reply! My tummy is a little bit better today, thankfully. It's always pretty dire but yesterday was extra-bad - no idea why!

I haven't resigned from the admin group yet - I'm waiting until my tummy settles a bit more, as any stress will set it back! I just haven't responded to any messages!

I was thinking of posting something like this: "Hi there, ladies! Just to say that I'm stepping down as an admin for the group. I'm not quitting the group itself - it's just that I have a lot to cope with at the moment and need to bring my Internet use back down to a more healthy level. I'm having to cull a few groups as I'm in far too many. I hope you will understand! I will still be around. Take care!" Hopefully they won't blow up my Messenger...

I'm aiming to stay off the Internet for much of the afternoon, apart from a couple of things I need to do on eBay!

lonelydaydream wrote:I was thinking of posting something like this: "Hi there, ladies! Just to say that I'm stepping down as an admin for the group. I'm not quitting the group itself - it's just that I have a lot to cope with at the moment and need to bring my Internet use back down to a more healthy level. I'm having to cull a few groups as I'm in far too many. I hope you will understand! I will still be around. Take care!" Hopefully they won't blow up my Messenger...

That sounds great . I personally tend to use " Thanks for understanding ." I feel it takes away their option to argue , in a " This-is-not-up-for-discussion " kind of way . But that's just me .

I'm glad you're feeling better and setting good limits on your Internet time . Spring is almost here - it's a great time to find better things to do !

Wishing you a stress free week and a tame tummy .

Thanks very much for your feedback - I see what you mean by "Thanks for your understanding" - my wording wasn't firm enough lol! Still haven't sent my message - being a bit of a coward lol! But no-one has messaged me all day which is a real relief!

My tummy isn't too bad just now, touch wood! I managed to stay off the Internet for a few hours & hopefully will again while I watch TV this evening (it's amazing how much more I get out of watching my TV programmes when I'm not on FB at the same time lol!)

Baby steps LDD !

You're making some big changes - it's important that you do it in your own time .

Hooray for no messages ! That must have been a nice feeling , setting your boundaries and seeing them respected .


Also , um .... gambling addiction . That pretty much obliterated the desire to do anything other than gamble . Truthfully , if I could go back in time , I would have preferred to become addicted to social media . Much less costly .

Still , an addiction is an addiction and breaking the cycle of it , no matter what the substance , is difficult . You are doing brilliantly !

Thanks for the kind encouragement, NewSunRising! I've had a fairly good day. Tum still something of a nightmare but I spent some time with my Dad this afternoon which was very nice!

Still no messages, thankfully - the group has been pretty subdued. I have held off from sending the message but I will do so if I feel stressed out again! I really am trying to regulate my Internet use - I think once I've recovered from the op hopefully it will naturally decrease! We'll see.

Hi NewSunRising! Just thought I'd let you know that I've done it - plucked up my courage & sent the message to the group & stepped down as admin. I've not actually left the group. I've now muted the conversation in FB Messenger so I can deal with any fall-out when I feel ready!

I feel a bit shaky now lol, but I know I've done the right thing for me - just hope they accept my decision & don't bombard me with messages!