Social Media - aargh!

That's fantastic ! I'm proud of you and your shiny steel spine .

It's understandable that they are sad about you stepping down , however they have no choice but to accept it because it's your decision to make .

Hopefully , there won't be any fall out but if there is , try not to let it get to you . People may have the right to try and get you to change your mind , but no one has the right to be mad at you if they fail to do so .

Thanks for the vote of confidence, NewSunRising! I do feel a bit weird, and hope I haven't upset them as that really wasn't the intention. I'm afraid I've been a bit of a coward and not checked to see it I've had any replies to that message - I'm sure I have, but I've muted the conversation. What has surprised me is that I've not had any individual messages from any of the ladies - I thought they'd be right on that! No-one has actually unfriended me though lol!

One of the things which unsettled me is that the language the ladies used towards me, and each other, is very reminiscent of the love-bombing I have experienced - for example, in a very religious group at university and later in a very abusive relationship. Right from the get-go they were calling me their "dear pal" and "dear chum", and saying how much they loved each other and what a fab little group we were! It all happened very quickly & I guess I was sucked in rather - how could I be their "dear pal" when they've only known me a few months on FB & have never met me?! It was the exact same thing with my abusive ex, whom I met online - we'd only been chatting via Messenger for a few weeks when he told me he loved me - we hadn't even met at that point!

They are all obsessed with this particular actor the group is about too - one lady actually said that he was looking down on all his fans (he is deceased), supporting them and loving them! I never felt like that, and it made me uncomfortable - almost like I was in the group under false pretences. Very odd!

Anyway, sorry to bore you with all this! I'm glad I got out - thanks for your support!

I have a healthy distrust of people who want to be instant Best Friends ...

I do get there are people out there who are very open and friendly , but you're right - it can make one a bit uncomfortable . Love-bombing is a great term . I never heard that before . Your feeling about that is instinct , and your instincts were correct .

It sounds like you are happier already !

The thing is ...sometimes people are going to be upset by our decisions . That cannot be helped . In real life situations , rarely does that "upset" last more than a day . Then new things come along to occupy their minds , the previous upsets are forgotten . Sometimes there's the idea that they could be " holding a grudge" but that usually only happens in the case of grievous wrongs .

Or if the person you're dealing with is a seriously self-entitled Special Snowflake who truly believes it is unacceptable for anyone to deny them what they want . Thankfully , those kinds of people are quite easy to walk away from .

You made this decision to better your life . Own it and be content !

Thanks, NewSunRising - I do feel slightly more in control, sort of lol! I'm experimenting with going on Facebook for half an hour twice a day, in the morning & the evening. That will hopefully give the whole thing a bit more structure & make my time there more focussed, rather than just aimlessly scrolling & getting drawn into conversations when I'd rather not!

Two of the people in the group I've jettisoned have said a friendly "hello" which is a relief!
I posted a picture in the group, just to show there was no hard feelings.

I'm very wary of "Insta-Friendships" now after my experiences, particularly with that chap I mentioned earlier! Love-bombing is often used by cults, and is also the term used when describing a narcissist's typical relationship cycle of "idealise (the person) - devalue (the person when they've been sucked dry) - discard". They love-bomb you to hook you as fast as possible, before you've had time to notice their flaws!

Well , pretty interesting information , that . Thanks for the explanation !

It sounds like the group is coming to terms quite nicely with your decision to back off . I think the 30 minute limit is a great idea - so much so that I'm stealing it .

I also have a super-busy week ahead , so if you don't hear too much from me , rest assured we'll catch up when stuff slows down .

Stay strong , and have a great week !

Thanks, NewsunRising! I've really appreciated your taking the trouble to reply to me, and I understand that you are busy! I will let you know how it all goes!

Glad you like the 30 minute limit idea! I was on FB for a bit longer than that this morning because it was my friend's birthday & then I played a few games, but I will stick to the limit this evening!

Hope you have a good week!

How have you been doing LDD ?

Hope things are going well with you ( and the tummy ) .

Thanks, NSR! Hope you've had a good week! I'm not too bad, though my tum's been pretty ghastly, which has meant that I've been unable to stay off social media as much as I would like because I can't really do anything else, especially in the mornings! It absolutely sucks! And I think that's the basis of why I'm so fed up with Facebook - it reminds me of how isolated I am because I rely on it so much! I don't mean that I suffer from envy & inadequacy from looking at other people's "perfect" lives, I mean that I resent it because if I had a life I wouldn't be looking at FB so much lol! Kind of hammers home my problems, if you like!

I'm getting better at staying off it when I'm watching telly though, which is something of a revelation - can't believe how much I used to miss lol!

I really hope I get my ileostomy soon, then I think I can start to leave my FB addiction behind!

Hmm, I may have spoken too soon when I said that the admin group had let me off lightly - one of them has just sent me a crying emoji. I have no idea how to respond!

Oh , so sorry you're going through that ! Got my fingers crossed that you move up that list quickly .

Oh dear ...a crying emoji !? If it were me :

" ( Hugs !) I'm sorry you're sad - it was a hard decision to make , but please know it's the best decision for me health-wise . We're still friends , I just won't be on the forum as often / as a mod . I hope all is going well with you . Please tell everyone I said Hello and that I'm taking good care of myself and looking forward to a healthier me in the future . "

Of course they miss you ! It's OK for them to express that , the same as it's OK for you to stand by your decision , kindly but firmly .

Sending you tummy-calming thoughts !