INTERNET ADDICTION/COMMITTED TO HEALING

Good morning internet addiction forum (IAF). My name is Ryan, I am 44 years old, I live in Europe, and I have an internet addiction. My true addictions are to pornography and sex. I have been porn-free for almost two years and am part of a 12-step programme for pornography addiction called Porn Addicts Anonymous or PAA. As I've learned through that program, my addiction is not to the internet but to a neurochemical called dopamine. It's the brain's tequila shot for pleasure or anything pleasurable. Unfortunately, I now see that my dopamine addiction has switched from porn videos, to g-rated things like Facebook and YouTube. I'll likely go into my personal history later but for now I'm going to do an exercise that helped me overcome my porn addiction:

Goal: Within 90 days, to overcome my dopamine addiction and start living a healthy, focused, and productive life again. I want to be able to use screens and technology to improve my life, no artificially live my life.

1. Reboot/recovery from internet addiction for me means no longer using screens as a visual reward centres. I no longer want to spend the majority of my life living online.

2. The root cause of my addiction is escapism. Rather than face my fears, problems, and tasks, I use screens to escape reality.

3. I get a dopamine high from YouTube, Facebook, news feeds, recovery forums, and video games.

4. Before using/relapsing, I start to feel anxiety that I can't complete a given task or deal with a challenging situation.

5. The conditions that lead to relapse are always my inability to break down difficult tasks or problems into manageable bits. I have lost my ability to effectively plan my life. So I'm being lived rather than living.

6. My safety plan before falling back into addiction will now be to stand up, tap myself on the chest, and say, "What else?" I'll also try to post here before using again.

Hello Lyon03 ,

You bring up some good points and I'm glad you are taking positive action . I did have to remove the link in your post , it's against forum rules .

Thanks for posting and sharing your message !

Not a bother. I'll be mindful not to post web links in future messages. Wish me luck. I'll try to post here daily.

I'm just checking in as I'm feeling the tug of internet addiction again. I'm a recovering porn addict. While I haven't used porn in almost two years, I have found a porn substitute: the g-rated internet. My g-rated internet binges often start with innocuous surfing on porn recovery websites. That then leads to news websites, then Facebook, and finally YouTube. Once on YouTube I often lose time clicking and switching between videos for hours on end. Last night I didn't log off my computer until 3:30 a.m. and as a result I'm feeling tired and groggy today. My latest internet binge is what motivated me to seek help. So what can I do today? I'm going to shut down my internet connection on my computer to focus on (offline) work. I'm also going to create an internet addiction plan for this week, month, and year. It helps to have goals and structure. I'll perhaps check in here at the end of the day with a progress report. This may seem obsessive but I need the accountability. The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. And I'm trying to take that bloody first step today my friends!

Just a final check in before bed. Didn't have exactly the day I wanted, but I'm going to bed at a reasonable time and got some work done. Guilt and shame are such huge parts of any addictions that I want to finish the day on a positive note. Glad to be here and to be starting this journey. Goodnight!

Day 1: Good morning from Europe everyone! I'm going to keep a daily log of days "sober" from internet addiction so to speak. Here are my goals for today:

- 2.5 hours of uninterrupted work/business
- Stay off Facebook, YouTube, and the various other sites that are part of my screen addiction
- Blocking the above using my K9 filter
- Exercise (heading to gym in a few minutes)
- Check in here with my progress at the end of the day

I have a few questions if anyone would like to respond:

1. Are there any 12-step programs (and web forums) for internet addiction? If yes, pls let me know.
2. What books would you recommend about internet addiction?
3. Would anyone be willing to be my sobriety buddy? If yes, please send me your contact details.

Have a great day everyone.

PS - I've added K9 blocker to my computer and have used a friend's email as the administrator. In the past I'd get around this blocker by re-sending myself temporary passwords so that I could get around the block to go to my various favourite websites (like Facebook and YouTube). Wish me luck friends!

I'm checking in mid-day. Things are going well and I'm working more effectively...albeit a bit disjointedly. Like any addiction, I feel that admitting I have an addiction is the first and often the hardest step. Admitting in October 2014 that I had a porn addiction was the first integral step towards healing and I'm happy to report that I've been porn-free for almost two years. Similarly, admitting I have a porn addiction and posting here are game changers. It forces me to look outside of myself for solutions because clearly I can't manage my own internet addiction. This is why I changed my K9 admin to a friend. Had it remained my own email address, I would have simply started surfing Facebook and YouTube again. I'll check in this evening before bed. Thanks for reading friends.

Day 1: Checking in at the end of the day. Here is a tally of my goals:

- 2.5 hours of uninterrupted work/business

Did about 3.5 hours of work, so an hour more than planned.

- Stay off Facebook, YouTube, and the various other sites that are part of my screen addiction

Done!

- Blocking the above using my K9 filter

Done!

- Exercise (heading to gym in a few minutes)

Done!

- Check in here with my progress at the end of the day

I had a good day today and won't be going to bed feeling like a failure. I'm going to work for another 30 mins, have dinner, and then read before bed.

So day 1 was a good first step towards overcoming my cyber addiction. If you're reading this, please feel free to share/comment. If not, I'm happy to treat this like a diary to myself. See you all (virtually) tomorrow.

Day 2: Just checking in with my daily goals:

- 3 hours of work

- Exercise (today working shoulders)

- Stay off my porn-sub websites: Facebook, YouTube, and news feeds.

- Check in here at the end of the day.

Chat later friends!