Just diagnosed with IED

Hello everyone. After years of torturing myself, I finally got some help and was subsequently diagnosed with IED. My father and I have a long history of broken property and bones. Thankfully, my IED never results in violence towards people, just inanimate objects. Broke my Blu-Ray player and threw my phone so hard it stuck in the drywall like a knife. That was the last bad episode I had. Currently taking lamotrigine, but still waiting to see if it's effectual.

I always thought I was just an asshole; who knew I was crazy. It's a relief to know that I have actual mental disorder, as funny as it is to admit. It's been harder the older I get to control my rage, but I'm hoping for the best.

Things I have broken due to IED: countless mobile phones, video game consoles, keyboards, mice, drywall (nemesis), tables, remote controls, cameras, glasses, laptops, external hard drives, doors, fingers (my own), monitors, CD/DVDs, etc. Sucks.

You sound a lot like my husband, he is notorious for breaking things as well. I want to be the first (probably not the first) to congratulate you on the first step of getting help, it really turly is the hardest step. This is a learning process and a journey that will have many ups and downs for you and those who love you, BUT always always always remember that in those downs of the journey there are people who care about you and love you and just want you to be safe and healthy. How have you been feeling since starting your medication? are you thinking of any type of counselling or groups? Its always a good idea to have some extra ears to hear you out when you need them to. I hope everything is going smoothly for you and hopefully no more broken things

I was also recently diagnosed with IED by a counselor at a behavioral health facility. During the last months of my pregnancy I would get angry, throw something & then sit down crying. I of course brushed it off as pregnancy hormones. In February 2011 while my mom was visiting, my husband & I got into an argument over how our 8 month daughter had been off schedule with sleep. When he blamed my mom, who'd just arrived that day, for this issue, I went off. I was screaming at the top of my lungs at him & told him if he didn't shut his mouth I'd do it 4 him. I could feel myself wanting 2 hit him & later told him if he hadn't been holding our daughter I would've. Another time in March 2011 we got in another argument & I had enough & decided 2 leave & take my daughter with me. My husbnd came down the stairs & stood behind the car. I later told him had our daughter not been in the car, I would've probably put the car in reverse & tapped him. After the February incident I talked with my doctor & was put on Lexapro. After husband changed jobs, I was switched 2 Celexa. In May 2012, after increasing my Celexa, doc made suggestion of mood stabalizers. Now, 3 months later, when I ask about being placed on a mood stabilizer since my anger is worse & I've put holes in walls, I'm told there's no meds 4 anger management. I'm now in anger management group, which I feel is a waste of time. I feel I'm trying 2 get help 4 myself before I hurt myself or someone else & the docs don't seem 2 wanna help. I have an appt Monday with a different place that actually was able 2 help my sister in law before she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Hoping I can get some help and/or meds soon, not sure how much longer I can take this. I've seriously thought about going 2 the psych ward at the hospital several times, it sucks 2 feel so crazy.

Marissa.Car wrote:You sound a lot like my husband, he is notorious for breaking things as well. I want to be the first (probably not the first) to congratulate you on the first step of getting help, it really turly is the hardest step. This is a learning process and a journey that will have many ups and downs for you and those who love you, BUT always always always remember that in those downs of the journey there are people who care about you and love you and just want you to be safe and healthy. How have you been feeling since starting your medication? are you thinking of any type of counselling or groups? Its always a good idea to have some extra ears to hear you out when you need them to. I hope everything is going smoothly for you and hopefully no more broken things

Thanks for the reply. So two months now with the treatment, Paxil and Lamotrigine. My anger has subsided quite a bit I'm happy to report. I haven't broken anything this month alone! My psychiatrist told me that IED resembles epilepsy in it's process and that lamotrigine would help. He said that it would "give me an extra split second to think" before going completely ###$. I think what he sadi is true, because although I still have the anger welling up inside, I am now able for the first time to subdue the rage from manifesting.

And I'm not out of the water yet; I still have episodes, but I'm so glad to feel somewhat in control for a change. Best of luck to your husband; like my wife, you are a saint to put up with someone with IED.

abakies wrote:I was also recently diagnosed with IED by a counselor at a behavioral health facility. During the last months of my pregnancy I would get angry, throw something & then sit down crying. I of course brushed it off as pregnancy hormones. In February 2011 while my mom was visiting, my husband & I got into an argument over how our 8 month daughter had been off schedule with sleep. When he blamed my mom, who'd just arrived that day, for this issue, I went off. I was screaming at the top of my lungs at him & told him if he didn't shut his mouth I'd do it 4 him. I could feel myself wanting 2 hit him & later told him if he hadn't been holding our daughter I would've. Another time in March 2011 we got in another argument & I had enough & decided 2 leave & take my daughter with me. My husbnd came down the stairs & stood behind the car. I later told him had our daughter not been in the car, I would've probably put the car in reverse & tapped him. After the February incident I talked with my doctor & was put on Lexapro. After husband changed jobs, I was switched 2 Celexa. In May 2012, after increasing my Celexa, doc made suggestion of mood stabalizers. Now, 3 months later, when I ask about being placed on a mood stabilizer since my anger is worse & I've put holes in walls, I'm told there's no meds 4 anger management. I'm now in anger management group, which I feel is a waste of time. I feel I'm trying 2 get help 4 myself before I hurt myself or someone else & the docs don't seem 2 wanna help. I have an appt Monday with a different place that actually was able 2 help my sister in law before she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Hoping I can get some help and/or meds soon, not sure how much longer I can take this. I've seriously thought about going 2 the psych ward at the hospital several times, it sucks 2 feel so crazy.

I feel your pain. My doctor said that a strong feeling of remorse following an episode was a classic symptom of IED. I always have that feeling, and I feel like the scum of the earth after making a scene and breaking something. You might mention to your doctor lamotrigine, an anti-epileptic. I believe it has helped me significantly.

I'll have 2 remember that for next Wednesday. I'm on Zyprexa right now that was prescribed 2 me when I went 2 a free church health clinic. I got so mad the other day that I was beating up the steering wheel, I've also been so mad recently that I was hitting the wall. I did however control my urge 2 slam a neighborhood child's head into the flatbed truck after saying 2 me "u wanna wake ur daughter up 4 me?" my daughter is 2 yrs old & I had told him the week b4 2 please quiet down at 9 pm while my daughter was asleep. I still get angry 2 the point that I wanna hit someone or something.