12 year old new diagnoised IED,ODD,ADHD

My 12 year old son has currently been diagnoised with Intermittent explosive disorder , also Oppositional defiant disorder along with already know adhd.
He has been having behavior problems for years and it just got to where there was no controling/helping him in his rages so I seeked medical help. He is currently in the hospital a week today and maybe in till at least next week. He is on meds, getting lots of differ therapy /couceling.

What I am in need ofis advice, tips etc on what I can do on my part to help him, how or what I can to do when he is in one of the rages as I am now afraid for my daughter whos only 2.
Any info will be greatly appreciated as I have also seeked help from services just waiting to hear back what I can get help with.
Thanks in advance
a concerned mom

hiya

my sons nearly twelve and has adhd and tourettes.he can be violent and ive felt scared for my other children the youngest being only just three.

its great that your sons getting the profesional help he needs right now..its a shame no one seems to be giving you any advice regarding these rages and how you can help him when hes "off on one".

and im sorry but i dont have much advice either....doctors and phychiatrists just give him more medications!.i used to just hold my son when he was going into a rage.id hold him tight so he couldnt hurt anyone or himself..but hes a big lad now and hes stronger then me.

could u ask your sonhs doctor for any tips?.

Thanks for replying ....
Yes we will discuss this with dr at next visit, his first advice was time out, but how can I get him to get in time out when I cant get ahold of him at all, he runs and when having an outburst I cant see him staying patiently in time out..... they are upping his meds daily to try and get him more calmer.

I am like you I have a 2 yr old daughter he just adores but it had gotten to the point I am afraid for her and I.

I was relieve when I found this board that I a m not alone with a child like this, he can be so loving just has moments and those have gotten worse...
Thanks again I will continue to seek info online, books, services and hopefully drs

Update:
Son was sent for follow ups at the local mental health clinic.
The pych dr took him off the adderall and said it can be making him more agressive and changed him from the seroquel to depakote.
He has been doing sooooo much better now. He still has some rage moments where he gets easily upset but not as voilent as he was before so I think off the adderall was excellent choice, he put him on just one 20 mg ritalin instead.
He (the dr) said he leans more to son is bi polar but at his age cant really say bi polar so treated him for it with the depakote 500 mg at bed time plus the ritalin once in am. He has a follow up this thurs (mental health clinic) and another appt with one of the states top pys drs on the 17th.

so glad things have improved...hope all continues to go well

I am a therapist currently working with a child with MID, ADHD, ODD, encopresis and enuresis. He is 16 years old and also has grown to the point where restraint and timeouts are no longer an option. His thoughts are extremely scattered and his rages are out of control. When I first arrived the parents notified me that it once took 3 police officers to hold him down. We found that many of his problems were context-dependent, only occurring in the house, with exception to his noncompliance, which also occurred a bit at school. I have set up a token economy (trophies because that's whats he likes to earn playing online with his PS3) which reinforces in hourly intervals for 5 categories (no verbal aggression, physical aggression, cooperation, respecting physical space and using self-control card). I also put a large wipe-off board next to this token trophy case outlining the day to make it nice and predictable. Every time he receives 5 trophies per category he receives $3.00. This has been working nicely. Also, we've been instructed by the psychologist to ignore any verbal aggression, keep a neutral tone and minimal eye contact. She was right. He required "us" to argue until he had a fit of rage. Without us having a verbal back-and-forth he simply walked to his room and we reinforced the first calm thing he did or said. The child/teen will not argue if there is nobody to spar with. This is by no means an easy fix and will probably take lots of blood, sweat and tears but the parents say Im their last hope before they institutionalize him. Hope this "behaviorist stance" helps a bit.

The very first thing you need to realise is that this is a fear disorder, or more accurately dysregulation of the pathways and mechanisms that control our fear response, so fear provokes the "outbursts". Avoid as best you can provoking, encouraging, or causing any kind of fear reaction.

The fear reaction is irrational, so don't try to rationalise it. It's also autonomous and will try to create it's own reason and justification, hence the tendency to try to provoke a reaction that will trigger and justify the response. Your fear will trigger your sons fear, so try to avoid responding with or showing fear in any way (i know this is hard, trust me).

try as hard as you can to keep a consistent, calm approach.

I cannot recommend highly enough checking out the Post Institute, and also look at the research on oxytocin (hopefully not upsetting any rules there).