Something is not 'right' with my new boyfriend , help!

Hi all.. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 7mnths . He has ADD, has had it since a child he told me, thus making me understand his 'forgetfulness' and lack of attn at times. However, I am beginning to see a temper in him, one that has progressed and on the weekend I witnessed a rage in him that just freaked me out. Ive always known he had a temper, saw it early on and thought I could handle it, everyone has tempers right?? He has his 5 yr old son every weekend and he disaplines his son and doesnt let him get away with much, Im all for disapline. But over the months Ive noticed my boyfriend 'tenses' up as soon as his son arrives and flys off the handle rather fast with him...He flies off the handle over nothing, I saw him drag his son into the room and SCREAM with such rage and hate it scared me. The same day he forgot something was on the stove and burnt it and flew into putrid rage and slammed stuff , swore etc I thought he was going to throw the fry pan thru the window!! Im really worried for my twin daughters 12 yrs.. I dont want them to witness him getting worse ( i fear he will)..
My boyfriend told me when he was a little boy he would destroy his room in rage and doctors had to come sedate him because his parents were too scared of him..

I dont know what to do.

Villagegirl, does his son's mother know how he's treating the poor kid? This is very bad for him and for your children too. I think you need to talk to the rest of his little boy's family and tell them what he's doing. If they don't do anything and he doesn't do anything to change, you should call Child Protective Services. It could actually get worse too.
If he doesn't get help, it's not a good idea for you or these kids to be around him.

ADD, depending on the flavour, can come with impulse control issues. I know that, because I have those myself.

I wonder, is your bf on any kind of meds for the adhd?


However there is clearly something going on beyond a simple impulse control issue and I agree that it is a highly undesirable situation.

You have kids? Leave. They deserve better. Otherwise their development will probably be affected.

We all have tempers, but most of us can restrain our tempers much better than this guy. If he got that upset over burnt food - and this wasn't just the catalyst to all the other baggage he had already been upset about - then he has a problem. And you can expect to see much more of it if you stay with him.

Aside from the rage issue, he sounds irresponsible. He hasn't given his son's mother complete custody to prevent himself from harming him. He is in a relationship with you, even though it will be very stressful to you and your kids to deal with him. He should be doing something to protect other people from his rage.

It doesn't matter whether he "flies off the handle" despite good intentions and a good soul, or whether he is sadistic and evil. What matters is the potential results. He is dangerous. That means you should keep your kids away from him and end the relationship.

If it was only you maybe things would be different, like you could stick around and endure his rage, and spend years supporting him as he works to overcome his rage, hoping he gets better, even though he probably won't. However, you have kids. You can make sacrifices yourself, but they shouldn't have to make sacrifices for you. I just noticed after typing all that, that your post is a year old. I hope you have already left him.