i need help.

i don't know what's going on with me.
i've been having violent impulses, including but not limited to wanting to torture and kill others and even my dogs. my best friend is scared of me after i told them. i have aspd, but i feel like there's something more going on. i get these impulses either out of nowhere, or when i'm feeling paranoid. i'm constantly paranoid someone is out to get me because my mom abused me when i was younger.
when i get these urges, i tingle and sweat and get heart palpitations and i don't know what to do about them.
if anyone has any clue what could be going on with me, or how to control these impulses, please help me.

You felt powerless, so now you want to make others feel the same way...

But that's just a temporary solution to the problem. The problem is that you lack trust because you were abused by your sick mother and now you can't trust anyone, because anyone can hurt you. So you suffer in your loneliness and want to cause others to suffer because of it.

You're sick and you're weak, and you need help. I say that simply out of sincerity, not disrespect.