anyone with IED

Anyone with IED out there, can you please tell me what leads to your explosions? What are you thinking when you are experiencing the explosions? What causes you to do this?

I am trying to understand.

I am 41, female, married.
What leads to my explosions? Embarrassingly "little" things, mostly at home, around people I know (I don't do this at work). I don't black out like some people here do, nor are my episodes as extreme as some I've read here. My heart goes to those who have to live with that.

My triggers:

1) Something doesn't work as expected (when doing any kind of task). - (I have a super-short fuse and no frustration tolerance).
2) VACUUMING always makes me mad. (I throw the vacuum and break it to smithereens when it fills up sooner than I like, or when it gets caught on something) Hint: Do not buy a Cheap Eureka Vacuum, it will anger you to no end)
3) Housecleaning (frustration about "where do I put this sh*t")
4) Being talked to in a condescending tone -- I will attack back 100 fold, with violence.
5) Being made to feel that I'm stupid (this is often perceived, but not real)
6) Running LATE
7) The overwhelming sense of "there is not enough time in the day"
and feeling I have too many tasks to do and it's already Sunday and now I have a workweek coming up and thus my tasks gotta wait another week. This can trigger a rage followed by hours of general bitchiness.

I rarely take time to relax or do things that I enjoy due to so much "to do" all the time. I think this is what's caused me to get much worse lately. I also strongly feel that hormonal fluctuations cause a pattern with me. I also don't get out and socialize much. I think this is bad for me too.

I have a question:

Are many of you depressed, or like me DYSTHYMIC? I have the ability to feel neutral and mad/sad, but not really "happy" nor do I laugh easily. I go months with no laughter. Just wondering if IED is another manifestation of depression/dysthymia. I am just now starting to get help. (no meds yet, I fear them intensely).

Another question:
After a rage, do you feel pain in your heart and a heavy sensation in the chest for hours? These symptoms are what is finally driving me to get help. Plus I hate hurting my loved ones - it makes me hate myself which in turn makes me rage - it gets to be a viscious circle, just terrible.

I don't feel relief from raging anymore - I actually feel sick for the rest of the day with these heart/chest sensations, plus I feel dizzy.

Thanks for listening!
Love to you all, this is SO horrible to live with.


P.S. for those thinking of having a family..... Please think twice. I believe this is possibly inheritable. I have family members with this same problem including a parent.

I think I have IED. I have had previous diagnosis of Bipolar II, major depression, borderline personaility disorder and anxiety. However, I think my SSRI's contributed have cause me to have drug induced akathisia and thus created symptoms leading to incorrect daignosis.

I have been off all medication for nearly three months and the only problem I still have is my rage and self harm. Therefore, I think I have IED.

What treatment is available for IED? I want to put this proposition to my pdoc.

thanks

Ride

in my experience, having dealt with my fiancee for a couple years now, i'd say there are a few things, although everyone gets angry for different reasons, but here are some of the things that enrage him.
1. traffic (people honking at other people, or just a jam)
2. injustice
3. the feeling of being talked at instead of to
4. globalizing a small problem (like a rude person at a restaurant) into "the whole world sucks and i want to die"
5. minor little annoyances that he cant let go till he erupts.

like i said, those are just his issues, his anger triggers.. theres more, but like i said everyones different and sees life through different eyes, and not everything effects them the same.