can't sleep - love my job, but my boss is an A hole

I haven't slept well since January. Help! I am disturbed by what seems to be a spirit that is magically trying to overthrow my sense of well being. It appears as not the owner to the apartment building that I manage (for two years), but a guy from the past who made me say something that I didn't want to because I felt I had no alternative.

I suppose this is kind of like the way it is with the owner to the building. I really like the work and the people here, but the owner seems subtlely trying to destroy me. Life is rough with such a thing. 4 hours total of on and off sleep is all I'm getting average, which is very uncomfortable considering how tired I am when I go to bed because I am so busy during the day. As I read back what I am saying here, it seems I should leave the job and work somewhere else, but it isn't easy to find a good job like this. Am I a work whore?...lol...or just my mind reminding me that I am stupid for letting people have me do or say things I shouldn't because I feel alone with no alternative?

Comments and suggestions would be appreciated.

Danny,
A hole management is a complex task. Your course of action will depend on the type of A hole you have. There is the self loathing type who wants everyone to be as miserable as he is. There is the sociopath who cares only for themselves and cannot comprehend the concept of empathy. Then there is the sadist. Or, it could be all three.

I design electronics, and the factory (4 hours from my work) was having trouble producing one of my products. About half the units coming off the assembly line worked and the other half failed. I went to the factory help diagnose the problem. The floor manager thought that things would improve by screaming at the workers. I said the problem was more likely that the soldering temperature was set improperly for this unit. It is a custom setting for every product produced. I recommended showing the employees how to find the optimum setting. No! That would take time away from making products and the employees would have a skill meaning they would have to be paid more. I suggested the manager learn how to adjust the machines. No, that sort of thing is for the grunts on the factory floor. The manager does not touch the equipment. It is beneath him.

I could not allow the factory to fail, and I could not leave these workers in such an untenable state, so I started explaining the concepts of solder flow and basic thermodynamics to the floor workers. They understood some of it, and started making recipes for each product. They could not explain why it worked anymore than most cooks can explain the chemistry of why a cake rises. The manager could not claim they had a measurable skill, and the workers were much more satisfied when they were making quality products. I made a lot of friends the manager does not know about. If he finds out, I am going to receive all sorts of warnings and outright threats about interfering with his staff. He wants his kingdom, and he wants to verbally abuse them. He is a bad king. I'd like to get him replaced, but he was roommates with the company president in college.

These situations are always bad, and they take quite a bit of ingenuity on the part of the person with conscience and empathy. It does not work our perfectly, but letting the A hole run over everyone at all times is not acceptable. Try to find a way to make things less bad. You can't make them perfect. The workers at the factory are still getting yelled at, but they are a bit better off for my efforts. We can't change the world, but helping a small corner is better than nothing. Hopefully, it is enough to let you sleep at night.

Think about it
GaryM

Gary, your boss sounds like a moron. I know bosses like that. They're like that little pebble in your shoe you can't shake out. I can see why he feels threatened by your empathy with the workers. Social currency is powerful. That's how he got the job. Yes toxic people can keep us awake at night. They are one of the worst stimulants for the insomniac.

Well, GaryM seems ok and has a firm grip on his situation. Doesn't seem to relate to mine much, but he is well aware of what has been going on and has handled the situation appropriately. I think it's kind of stupid to try to help him with something of an experience that he is trying to help someone else with... he already has handled his situation well. What about me? Maybe I have handled mine well also, but it's not easy working for a property owner that doesn't really care for his apartments and people and only the money he gets.

Danny,
I was trying to provide an example of how to deal with a difficult situation. I have no detail on your situation, so I can't simply tell you how to handle it. I am encouraging you to be imaginative and even a bit courageous without being foolhardy. It is a difficult line to walk. In any case, it requires some ingenuity on your part. While it would be much better if your antagonist had a conscience, that seems an unreasonable expectation. In a world of bad options, it is up to you to find a better one even though you are not the one creating the problem.

Life is not fair. You are having to work an extra measure to make up for the lack of character in someone else. I completely agree, and I can empathize. However, it is my experience this extra effort is worth it. It will let you sleep at night and help people who need it and deserve it.

Be a good person -just don't get caught.
GaryM

Thanks GaryM for the pointers...it makes me feel a bit less alone. I still can't sleep well though even though things have improved and I've tried to keep a positive attitude. I think it has something to do with me seeing myself as a team player and not having teammates who are on the same team...lol. It's something like why would I even try to work with people who aren't trying to do the same things. I have to be in a position to do just about everything myself and it feels like I am working for the oposition. If I look at it like I am doing things for the residents here, I feel better...sometimes it's just not easy to do because of the reality of who owns the property and the views that they have. It may be that I am just concerned about the way things look in a certain way, but I was told once when I worked with a sales group that was cheating people that I should be careful who I work for because it makes me look bad being associated with them.

If I can sleep well, it would be much easier to live well and be positive, but things are getting worse in the sleep department and I'm lucky to get two hours continuous sleep without awaking with a disturbing feeling... One of like magic ways against me covering me up from living with joy and optimism. It almost seems life threatening when I don't get adequate sleep. Four hours of continuous sleep I know is important and if I don't get it I could be in trouble physically.

I'm going on vacation for the next couple of weeks and I sure hope that gives me strength and a better perspective on things.

Still can't sleep all that well. I believe I probably should leave my job even though I can't find a particular reason ... and I do like my job. Just hard thing to do when I don't have anything else lined up. The vacation was good in that I did sleep better and slept one night at a Holiday Inn for 8 hours. I don't see the boss around that much here and even though he has only been here 3 or 4 times in two years, it does seem to matter to me that he appears to think that I am a fool to care. That's probably my trouble in a few words...just the way he thinks of me and that I work toward something that helps someone who thinks me a fool. I try to imagine I am working for the residents which I do day in and day out, but the looming overlord is haunting my sleep evidently...lol...that shouldn't be funny I know....I suppose it just sounds funny.

So the latest is dumbass owner man has hired a management company to what I what told support what is going on here. I know that he wants to not even have to think of things here and just make money for some reason or other, so initially, I was told way back, he didn't have time for the day to day keeping up with ledgers, billing paperwork, iterfacing with the lawyer when needed, and tax and legal work.

His answer was to hire a management company to ease his any work at all for here. They came here last week and claimed control of the buildings by putting notes on everyones door, talked with me and in general were very rude and assumingly domineering. I told them they were very rude, had not given me enough time to prepare residents for their coming, and were too much for me. It was assumed I would assimilate into their company by being hired in. I'm like no, I'm not working for these people.

Just can't sleep much at all now and I do love my job with keeping the place up, but it's like are you kidding me?, I shouldn't and don't deserve to be overthrown to less responsibility and more complicated work for what has already being going very well on my end. It's just a hellish feeling that I be treated this way and of course, the residents who will be subject to a company who has a very bad reputation with tenants. Opinions have been either negative or haven't heard of them before. The owner told me they were hired because they were heard from other owners to be effective making revenue .

Time to cock myself to spring out of this heard of idiots...lol. I know I would sleep better if I leave, so it's going to be hard for me to continue here although I will try to fight for me and the residents as much as I can in this war zone feeling place. I just don't trust the owner, although his wife is fairly decent. The Clash,..."should I stay or should I go?".

Well, my options were either to stay and assimilate with an assaholic company or leave with pay for a month and a half. Opted for the later...Is this guy I work for the devil himself or just a demon? lol.