sleepless, restless

I'm just writing randomly...
I cannot sleep well.
I'm homeless currently; I'm staying in a hostel international.
Some people are disturbing here.
I feel alarmed and restless...
I can't sleep well.
I don't know anybody close to me here in Vancouver...
I met one person whom I've know for four months last night.
But I was not comfortable with her, so I stop socializing with her...

I cannot keep my life because I feel restless, and so lonely...
When I sleep I need somebody to hold my hand and tell me that my dad is not going to come tonight...
I need a warm hand and support.

gato,
I cannot hold your hand since I am on the other side of the continent, but you might consider going to Covenant House in Vancouver. Their address is:

575 Drake Street, Vancouver, BC
phone: 604-685-7474
They are on the north side of the Granville Bridge close to English Bay.

I wish you a bright recovery from this painful period in your life.

GaryM

Hello Gary,
Thank you for the resource.
Yes, in the end of the last year, I had a horrible experience.
I was alone in Vancouver and staying in the youth hostel...
I checked the website of the Covent House.
It says it's for youth aged 16-24 years old.
Unfortunately, I am 32.
I keep looking for other resources.

Writing randomly on Psychforum has been helping me a lot.
Well... today I had a flashback.
I was raped by my ex-partner (common-in-law partner) in October 2009.
Since then, I haven't had sex with anybody, because I am too fearful to have sex.
I have experiences being raped by a stranger and being raped by somebody close to me...
For me, it is more difficult to handle the case of the rape by somebody close to me...
In my case, it was my ex-partner. He was not fair to me on bed...
I hesitate to talk about this because it happened in our relationship and he was my formal partner...

gato,
I... I am at a loss. My intention is to help in some tangible way, and I am not in a position to help. I offer my most sincere sympathy. I also can say that I cannot understand how someone can hurt another in this way. The term anger does not begin to express my feelings on this.
Clearly, the law is not able to help you on this. The law enforcement in the U.S is even worse. I have heard rumors of vigilantes to correct problems the government cannot or will not address. It is a bad idea, of course. It gets out of hand. The groups get overtaken with racists and xenophobes.
I am rambling since I don't know what to do, and I am beside myself with rage. You need family or friends. Is that a possibility? I suspect not. You would have already tried it if family was available or reliable.
Can you find work? I realize you are starting over, but it is important to start. Above all, remember you are needed. If you don't have someone to tell you, at least get a paycheck to let yourself feel you are valuable. It could be a start. Starting alone is very tough. Not starting and being alone is even worse.

I wish you the best.
GaryM

Maybe a rape crisis centre could help.. http://www.endingviolence.org/node/64

Hello Psyquest,
I've checked WAVAW's website. I took their one-to-one counselling intake line. I will call 'em tomorrow. I need to ask them if their counselling is complimentary.

how did that go?

-- Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:48 pm --

how did that go?

Psyquest wrote:how did that go?

-- Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:48 pm --

how did that go?

Hi, I phoned them on Feb. 8th (wed).
They said their waiting list is for 11-12 months.
It is complimentary.
They gave me a short intake interview.
And they concluded that I am not eligible.
They said they accept the mid-level victims. (I don't know the definition of the mid-level).

But they referred me to two other organizations.

I am swamped because now I have many things on my to do list.
So I will leave this as it is now. I will not call the two other organizations right now.