i need to unlearn a fear

Hi all.


Over a week ago i detected a faint pulse in my left ear. That created some anxiety and insomnia. The pulse is very faint and i can easily mask it with white noise, which I do, but I somehow learned to zone into to pulsing sounds externally all throughout my day to day experiences that are generated by outside sources. For example, the shower, the HVAC, the refrigerator in the cafeteria. In all of these locations I can detect audible pulses (with similar tone and frequency) that are clearly coming from external sources (not my head) but they seriously annoy me. It is very difficult to get away from all of these external sources.



How can avoid zoning into external sources of these pulses? I think my fear of something in my head has morphed into a general fear of that sound all throughout environmental stimuli.

I can have morbid fleeting and anxious thoughts of a sudden blood vessel bursting when I feel my heartbeat throbbing in any body part. It may or may not be related to high blood pressure and it usually goes away by itself.
When I first lie down at night, the mind clears and the body enters rest, is when I hear or feel the pulsing.
I guess that as a child, I learned what aneurisms and hemorrhages were. I saw illustrations in medical books and my imagination took a morbid turn. To think that something unseen and undetected could suddenly go wrong at any time!
No one likes to think of having a stroke. My mom lived in hospice for a year and a half after having her stroke. It was sad to watch it end that way.
I have to be very in-tune with my natural rhythm of heart rate and breathing as that is my best barometer of an impending anxiety or panic attack. Especially if my breathing begins to get tight.
I do have annual physical check ups and do keep my hypertension (blood pressure) under control with medication. I'm 60 y.o. now and try to take care of myself. It is really the only thing that I have control over. God watches over the rest.
It is good to talk about our fears and not hold them inside to fester. Get peace of mind with a physical exam if you haven't had one lately.
Speak with your primary physician about your concerns. It may be suggested to speak with a specialist and if necessary a referral can be written by your doctor.
Fears, once learned may not ever be forgotten, but you might find ways to give them less power over you.
Best of luck to you.

Wally58, yep I'm 50 now and I had open heart surgery back in December to repair an aortic aneurysm. I constantly fear that it's going to burst or something like that. Tough to unlearn a fear of something when you've experienced it firsthand. It's to the point where I dread when the sun goes down.

Fear of not being able to get a good night's sleep is the worst fear of all.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Most hospice facilities are profit-driven and terribly neglectful and uncaring. Hopeless feeling to watch a loved one suffer and you really can't do anything about it.

-james-