Insomnia that defies description.

Hi everyone,
This is my first post and my story is long like probably most people's who came here, but to summarize: i dont sleep at all. at all like really at all! 3h of deep sleep in 4,5 or even 6 days. at best Ill get tiring rem sleep that doesnt last long either . I can go 3 days in a row with eyes wide open.

by now, I do realize of course that this is not just insomnia. but a serious depression.

i tried any supplement or herb you can think of. from amino acids to adaptogens to sedating herbals, marijuana, exercice, sunlight or most of the 53 methods listed on the self hack site. everything.

how did i get here? years of stress! and excessesses of all kind. gambling .drinking. not sleeping on purpose for days while abusing stimulants. then when i realised i have a problem and insomnia became prominant i started screwing myself with supplements of all kind whileworking at a suoer stress ###$ and tiring job. long story short: i am burned out, depressed, and sleepless. I cant en look at my phone because looking at any screen be it smartphone or pc is unbearable. (typing this post from a kindle)

ssris didnt work on me and screwed me further in fact. amitryptiline, trazodone even xanax do nothing for me. tho I do hate benzos with passion and avoid them like fire.

at this point Whenever I relax and put my head on the pillow I start experiencing very brusque neck twiches. brutal, scary neck twitches upward and my entire head starts to shake. air hunger all the time. I inhale deeply then my body stoos breathibg for like 10 secs all by itself afterwards (no urge to breathe ) and all this $#%^ happening while im awake of course. its 05:30 am right this second. my brains are fried and im clueless. any sensible tips are welcome. good night everyone. (pun intended)

I've had difficulty sleeping all my life. I've been prescribed Venlaflaxine and Olanzapine for personality disorders. I take Olanzapine at night and it seems to work well though I still get 2/3 nighters without sleep sometimes.

Reason I'm e-mailing is your last paragraph. For about the past year I'd been getting those stopping breathing symptoms. I'd just be falling, or had fallen to sleep when I'd wake in a panic as I'd stopped breathing. Horrible feeling. I was shattered all the time. I had to have an operation this year and when I mentioned this they sent me to the sleep clinic.

Turns out I've obstructive sleep apnea. Completely messes your sleep up and you don't feel revived because you don't get enough oxygen. If your stopping breathing when you try to sleep it may be this. Get it checked as it does a load of damage undiagnosed.