Suggestions for falling asleep

Hi, new here, joined a while back and have browsed all sorts of stuff. I'll go over quick what my problem is and then what i've tried. Any and all advice is appreciated.

My problem has nothing to do with staying asleep or getting enough sleep. Once i'm asleep I have no real issues, and can even wake up and fall right back asleep. The problem I have is the initial falling asleep. I've had problems for 10+ years now (i'm 25 years old, male) and it comes and goes. Sometimes it's better for a few days/weeks and comes back for a few days/weeks, but it's now to the point that just knowing that I have to go to sleep makes me feel ... crazy. I have a herniated disk in my lower back so it's difficult to get comfertable laying down, but that's not the main issue. Most of it is in my head. When i'm laying down in pitch black with no sound my mind goes into overdrive. I bounce thoughts around my head for hours and hours on end (my average time to fall asleep is probably 1-2 hours and if it's real bad, 3-6 hours.. and no I don't just lay in bed the entire time)

So.. some of the many many things i've tried...
-Medications (From hypnotics like lunesta/ambien to benzos, any and all OTC including "natural" drugs)
- Sleep habits (I go to bed and get up at the same time every day, dont use my room for much but sleep, etc)
- Herbal teas
- Meditation
- Different sounds/music in order to offset my thoughts (this works well but not every time.. usually some quiet like classical or orchestral music or just blank sounds, I have a rainforest on that I like..)
- Probably many other things that I just don't remember..

Apart from my mind racing when I lay down to go to sleep I also have an issue with feeling "sleepy".. I rarely if ever actually feel sleepy. Most of the time it takes 24-30 hours awake for me to feel like that (if i'm still up at 6-7 AM I just stay up all night in the hopes that i'll be tired enough the next day). I have found that meditation helps, actually a lot. It just doesn't help when my insomnia "flares up" or when it gets worse. I am sure that 90% of the problem is from anxiety, possibly just general anxiety in my life but it's gotten bad enough that I have anxiety just from thinking about sleep. I work 50+ hours a week in a kitchen so you would think after a 12 hour shift I would be tired enough to fall asleep.. but it just doesn't happen sometimes. Even during a "good" period my usual time to fall asleep is probably 30 min to 1 hour. I usually watch an episode of a tv show then eyes shut at midnight.. Asleep by 1-2 AM, wake up at 830.

I just don't know what else to do anymore... I'm so fed up with trying that i'm ready to just say whatever, stop trying and stay awake 24/7.. just pass out every few days when my body can't take it. The problem is not only would this be unhealthy, it would be very dangerous considering I work around very hot pots/pans, fire, etc etc.. Hopefully someone has some suggestions that might help.

PS: I would love to go see a sleep specialist for help but this is FAR beyond my means.. I make enough to survive, thats it, no insurance and no savings so, seeing doctors for any and all reasons are out of the question (isn't it great how the world works. . .)

Hi,

what works for me is visualising the mess of thoughts in my head (I often have a song stuck in my head) and walking through a corridor from my house to a forest. The corridor is grey, dusty and covered in things related to my thoughts, like CDs for the songs, leather-bound agendas if I'm thinking about deadlines, etc. I kick them away from me and when I get to the end of the corridor I get out and go to my happy place.

My happy place is on the beach, by the fire, I sit there and imagine in great detail listening to the trees, wood cracking in the fire, the noise of sea waves, etc. Then I fall asleep.

Mind you. This didn't work the first time, or the tenth either. Same as with any form of meditation you need to train yourself in doing it. Your happy place might be totally different, your way of removing unwanted thoughts from my head may be different. But if you try to do it every night for a few months gradually it works better and better. By now unless I have something terrible or very exciting happen in the last hour before I go to sleep it works almost 100%. When I get anxious about "OMG I can't sleep why can't I sleep" I go back to the corridor and walk through it again kicking those thoughts away.

My bedroom is pitch black and I need total silence, by the way. No music or noises from outside. So sometimes I need to sleep with earplugs.

Big hugs. I hope you catch some good zzzs soon.

How long do you guys lie awake before you give up and read a book or something? I get so tired of my thoughts after a while. 2AM insomnia thoughts are never happy thoughts. >_<

Oliveira wrote:Big hugs. I hope you catch some good zzzs soon.

Thank you very much for the advice! Maybe i'll try something like this, figure out what my "Happy Place" is and work on that every single night instead of trying different things like I have been lately...

Thanks again!

You're welcome, hope it works!

For that troublesome mess of thoughts you mentioned, I would recommend writing down as much as possible of what's on your mind, which is often a great relief in itself. From there, list select an issue e.g. the most anxiety-causing one on which some progress can be made, and do some systematic analysis in writing e.g. SWOT, identifying relevant factors, leverage points, asking further questions, etc. Even if the solutions can't be found immediately this kind of systematic thinking can give greater clarity, understanding, perspective, and some progress to give the mind a sense of achievement and enable it to let go and relax.

Two tricks.

First, you can try melatonin which is totally natural, 5 mg and you will sleep like a baby 35 minutes later.
Or
You can do a lot of physical exercice in your day, and later, before sleeping, watch 10-15 mins of tv. At this point, you should already be pretty much tired. But if you aren't you can simply masturbate. I'm not kidding, when you masturbate before sleep, you want to sleep after. But, I dont think it works for women. Of course, you can also take a hot shower before going to bed.

Hope that helped

I have no suggestions about falling asleep because I usually sleep at 10 pm. My problem is getting back to sleep. Sometimes, it would take two hours before I can sleep again. What I did lately is to get up from bed and do some paper work to pass the time. I get sleepy at 9am so I go back to bed to sleep for an hour. This has been going on for 5 months now. I got headaches and my eyes hurt. I don't know if this is stress-related or I have insomnia already. However I am interested to try if finding my "happy place" will work for me. Thanks for this info.

If nothing seems to work. Then acceptance is key.

I have tried many different ways to fall asleep after suffering with insomnia for many years.

My friend has gone to great lengths to try to help me with my sleeping patterns and how to fall asleep.
She made me a video last night, with hypnosis and guided meditations. I found it very useful!

Here's the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxoS9d4J6qk

I hope it helps you!