Advice on my insomnia

Hello all. Wondered whether anybody might be able to give me advice on my current bout of insomnia, which seems to result from a number of factors. By way of background, I had an abusive childhood, as a result of which I tend to internalise anger and dwell on situations that have upset me; this is definitely contributing to my not sleeping, though I think it is actually an effect rather than a cause of my current insomnia.

My home can be quite noisy: I live opposite a late-night takeaway that is open until 2am most nights (but 5am on Friday and Saturday nights). This clearly generates noise from people, staff and their extractor fan, and whilst I used to be able to sleep through this most of the time I became increasingly sensitised to it a couple of years ago. Consequently, I changed my sleeping hours, and instead of going to bed at midnight started going at 2am and waking up later (which worked fine as I don't have a job). Some nights, however, I found myself taking ages to get to sleep, which clearly restricted how much sleep I was getting. Consequently, I decided to investigate the possibility of creating a back bedroom by swapping the kitchen over with one of the front bedrooms.

Moving a bed into the kitchen as a temporary measure initially worked well, and I slept almost immediately. However, there is noise at the back as well: a hotel is being rebuilt and the construction work begins at 8am. I can never sleep well when I have an alarm set and this functions almost like an alarm, waking me up after which I may or may not get back to sleep after inserting earplugs. As a consequence, I found myself taking longer and longer to get to sleep at night; sometimes not until 3am (meaning five hours until the noise started).

After a particularly appalling night a couple of weeks ago, when I didn't get to sleep until 6.30am (and even then only by switching to the front bedroom) I decided to try a new strategy: going to bed in the back bedroom at midnight, then switching to the front bedroom at 2am if I hadn't fallen asleep. This initially worked well, and I fairly quickly fell asleep in the front bedroom, although never in the back (as I was psychologically seeing it as a stopgap — two hours in bed without sleep before switching rooms). However, I was tending to wake up fairly early, meaning I was averaging about five hours' sleep a night — a remarkably consistent figure, whether I fell asleep at 3am and woke at 8am or slept from 4am until 9am.

However, the night before last I wasn't able to sleep in the front bedroom either; at 6.30am I reverted to the back bedroom with earplugs and slept until 10.15am. Last night was even worse: two hours awake in the back bedroom, then an hour and a quarter awake in the front bedroom, then tried the back bedroom again, and then reverted to the front once more. I was still awake at 6.30am after which I think I got some sleep, though it can't have been more than a couple of hours — I feel like death warmed up today.

Added to all this, I tend to eat once a day and eat out, as I hate cooking. If I eat at lunchtime I'm hungry at bedtime and don't sleep well, and if I eat in the early evening I'm too full to sleep at midnight (though fine by 2am). I also find myself going to the toilet a lot during the night, which I think is due to an enlarged prostate — this is disruptive too, though like the negative thoughts I think it's a symptom rather than a cause of my insomnia (if I could get off to sleep, it wouldn't happen).

Really, my sleep options are limited. Should I always go to sleep in the back bedroom at midnight and simply stay there even if I remain awake? Or should I revert to the front bedroom and go at 2am? I'm now in the situation of believing I'm unlikely to sleep properly in either bedroom, and this anxiety is creating my insomnia. In short, it feels like I've forgotten how to fall asleep — even when I'm warm and relaxed and comfortable and tired, it simply doesn't happen and I lie awake for hours.

Speaking from three decades of primary insomnia, including two overnight sleep studies, involvement in three research protocols, and the advise of twelve different specialists....my advice is to take the issue of your sleep very seriously. When the curtain of consciousness falls, and we delve into sleepland, an enormous amount of crucial brain functioning happens.

You have to make sleep a serious priority. Start by deciding which room seems to make your most comfortable. And then...make it a really conducive sleep space. Get some good headphones and a white noise sound system (or simply some sound canceling head phones). Install good light blocking window coverings, or use light block-outs over your eyes. Use low lighting for your bedtime wind-down. Establish a good habit of "sleep hygiene" (do an online search for advice on this topic). Figure out what kind of mattress is best suited for you, and get one if need be. Invest in good pillows. Consider sleep one of the most important commodities in your life, and invest in it. Spend some money on counseling for your past issues, if need be.

If your aren't careful, you can develop a disrupted circadian cycle, and good sleep might slowly but surely become a serious thorn in your side, tempting you to start on a path of prescription sleep aids....something you really really want to avoid. Good luck.

No intention of taking prescription sleeping pills, as I am sleeping every night — just not as much as I would like, nor at very convenient times. Last two nights followed the same pattern: bed in the back bedroom around midnight with no sleep, then moving to the front bedroom around 2am with no sleep again, then returning to the back bedroom and falling asleep. On Tuesday night, I fell asleep around 5.45am and woke up naturally at 10.15am feeling surprisingly refreshed; last night I fell asleep around 4.45am and was woken up by noise from the building work at around 8.45am (despite earplugs) feeling tired and with a slight headache.

The stupid thing is that I can sleep in the back bedroom — I do every night and did without problems for a couple of months. I can also sleep in the front bedroom, as I did for years and did last week. But this week, I can't fall asleep until I've tried the back bedroom, then the front bedroom, then reverted to the back in the early hours. I just need to retrain my brain to fall asleep at a more sensible hour. I think it stems from knowing that noise will start at the back from 8am and continue in the front until 2am; either way, I feel under pressure to fall asleep to get in seven or eight hours, which makes it impossible.

As I understand it, Ben Franklin had trouble sleeping, and used to switch bedrooms to deal with it. Who knows what the mechanism is, but it worked for him. In your case, it sound like you need to get used to wearing headphones with a white noise soundtrack that can repeat throughout the entire night, acting as a mask to the outside noise. From experience, I can say that it becomes a peaceful experience, almost like an audible sleeping blanket.