I'm 35 years old, a men, not very healthy, ok I know I should exercise more and stop smoking... but you will read above why I don't do it... I had morbid obesity in the past, and since that surgery my energy level is all the time low, even if all my vitamins level are for the most part good... I have some anxiety disorders, mostly an extreme panic disorder with agoraphobia (Extreme cause i'm med sensitive and can't take them anymore), social phobia and general anxiety since i'm 19 yo, was stable on a SSRI (Paxil) for a lot of years + had done severals Therapies and didn't experience any relapse for the panic for almost 10 years...
Anyways, back in 2009, after a bad experience with an old med call Parnate ( An old MAOI antidepressant med, I had an hypertensive crisis), and also after I subscribe to the gym ( go to the gym 4 months only, stop cause I had too many panic attacks there), I start having a weak blood pressure and start also to be all the time worried about my heart. The Psychiatrist doc put me again on the Paxil and I was free of panic after 2 months, I was also put on a benzo med again, was already on the Diazepam at 40 mg day, but I was put back on the Rivotril 6 mg day ( I have a high tolerance to the benzo drugs effect) BUT the weight gain from the Paxil was very bad (almost 40 pounds in less than 2 months), since I was free of panic I choose to stop the Paxil by myself... Wrong idea...
At the same time I had some problems with my intestine and had a lot of internal and external bleeding hemmorroids, who was bleeding A LOT, so much that I had no iron in my blood and a very low hemoglobin level and had to receive blood transfusions and IV iron treatments for more than 1 year prior to my surgery. Anyway, the low iron increase my fear of a heart attack since my pulse was all the time in the high range (above 130 at rest)... so I start focusing more and more on my blood pressure, was taking my blood pressure 20 and + times a day, was all the time taking my pulse rate on my wrests or on the big veins on my neck and the panic disorder start again in november 2009. At the same tine, I had a very painfull surgery call hemorrhoidectomy for my hemorrhoids. That surgery change my life, it was son painful that the day I had the surgery I start experiencing more than 10 panic attacks a day, I start also to have throbing headache, migraines all the time... At first, I put the blame on the surgery and the pain + elevated pulse rate when I had to have a bowel movement... but 1 month after the surgery, I start again having blood in my stools, not like before the surgery but enough to make me a lot anxious and my anxiety level increase to a point of no return.
In 2010 my mental health state decrease a lot more, of course my Psychiatrist Doc wanted me to be back on an AD to control my anxiety insistead of increasing my benzo dose... so we try almost all the AD on the market (older ones to the newer ones), I try also to be back on the Paxil but it was so hard, I mean my anxiety was 10000 times worse when I was taking the AD that I wasn't able to start it again and I even developp a med phobia, to the point that just seing the bootle of pills trigger big panic attack...
I start again to see a Therapist, after 12 weeks with no improve and no answer about why I had so many panic attacks and heart problems, she just return me home with no explanation. I had to see another Therapist and again after 12 weeks of CBT therapy I was not improving, in fact I was worse than before... In the middle of 2010 I had to stop driving my car cause I was all the time in a panic state, my blood pressure start to be high all the time, the pulse rate change and was for most part of the time very slow (under 50), I start having panic attack in the shower, had panic attack when I had to have a bowel movement, I start also to have panic attack and high anxiety state when I was alone at home ( I still have all of those problems and many more) and the agoraphobia hit me very badly, I start avoiding everything, stop seeing my friends, stop calling them, was staying at my home all the time... Because of my heart problems (high blood pressure and weak pulse rate) I saw 2 different Cardiologists and they run a lot of tests for my heart and all the results was negative (mean that my heart is fine)... I also go very often to the emergency cause I was thinking that I had a heart attack and had so many blood tests, X-ray and everything turn out to be ok, no heart problem, all the Docs I saw at the ER told me it was only anxiety related!!!
In 2011 my heart start to act very weak again, in fact I start having chest pain all the time at rest and my pulse rate start to be very fast again, I remember that one time I go to the ER and they do a EKG and my pulse rate was at 240!!! The Doc at the ER told me to see my cardiologist again and that's what I do... The Cardiologist RX some tests for my heart again, find out that I had nothing wrong with it with the exception of the fast heart beat (not surprise) so he RX a beta-blocker... Again I had a lot of problem taking it, wasn't able to deal with the side-effects... finally we find one that fit ok with me (Inderal) at a very low dose of 5 mg a day, but it's not very effective to reduce the fast pulse rate and i'm having now a low blood pressure with more chest pain, especially in the evening and early in the morning. I also faint 4 times...
My Family Doc run other tests, mainly for my adrenal glands, my cortisol level is low, but not that low, he said that it can be adrenal fatigue but said also it's not a medical disorder and can't be treat with meds... My noradrenaline is in the middle range, my adrenaline level (urinary 24 h level) is low but my dopamine level is in the middle range... Again, normal for someone who deal with so many anxiety in his life... The blood level of Cortisol take at 4 different time in the day was on the low side, but not enough to be put in the addison disease category...
Anyway, the last Therapist I had told me that I had a somatoform disorder, she said that I had all the symptomes of a heart disease without being a real heart disease problem... My Psychiatrist say I only have severe anxiety and that i'm hypochondriac... I don't know what to think about all of this...
For now, I have no life... can't do anything physically because of the weak blood pressure and fast pulse rate. I'm all the time dizzy, when I get up I have to do it very slowly if not I can fall on the ground, my hands and legs turn blue often and they hurt, my left arm is numb most of the time, I have strong headache all the time (nothing work to stop the pain), can't stand the sun or the heat (tmake me tired as hell and trigger panic all the time), I have IBS problem as well, it's very difficult to have a bowel movement, my belly hurt all the time, my stomach also, had a CT-Scan with a contrast product for my intestine and they didn't see anything wrong with it, my energy level is so low, I never felt that way in the past. I also can't be in a car, each time my heart start acting crazy, even if I don't drive... If I take my shower I will run out of energy for the rest of the day. Each morning my heart beat is above 160 at rest and slow down only 2-3 hours after I get up. And the list goes on... I have so many symptoms that my life is miserable for now... can't do anything, even reading a book or being in front of my computer for more than 20 minutes make all my symptoms worse!!! For now, my PDoc add 1 mg of Xanax in the morning to my 8 mg of Rivotril... Yeah, I take booth benzo meds... The Xanax help to cope with the fast heart beat in the morning, but don't decrease my anxiety level and i'm addicted to the Rivotril, I take 8 mg of it each day but don't feel it, not effective for my anxiety...
I try natural products as well.. MAgnesium for my heart, Inositol in high dose for the panic, take also a lot of liposolub vitamins (A-D-E) cause of my gastric by-pass I don't absorb them from the food, I take fish oil, Vit B complex (but it's making my blood pressure higher so I stop it)... Valerian, passionflower, 5HTP, L-glutamine, L-arginine, l-tyrosine... nothing help me...
Someone have an idea of what is wrong with me? The heart symptoms that I feel everyday are from a somatoform problem or just because i'm hypocondriac???
Any kind of advise will be welcome!
Thanks
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