fear of the medical community

Hello to all, excited about joining. I can relate to some many of your stories, how you feel, what it does to you.
I'm a 45 yr old male in realatively good health - so they say (doctors). I'm about 155lbs soak & wet. I constantly think & worry about getting some debilitating illness (nothing specific) & that the doctors will misdiagnose me. I used to be on Paxil till last yr I tapered myself off. what a horrible drug. then the psych's tried me on a low dose of Risperdal for a couple of months. I stopped that as well after realizing that rare side effects can cause respitory failure & seizure or cogestive heart failure (in elderly patients I must state that). even though it might not apply to me. all I take now is Xanex if my anxiety gets out of control. they told me I have GAD (general anxiety disorder) over my health. my mind is in a full body scan 24/7 looking for anything out of the norm I feel. I basically catastrophize over every little feeling or twinge my body does. I also get bouts of Irritable Bowell Syndrome sometimes. I don't trust doctors - they are overworked, there medical training in the united states is influenced by the criminal drug companies for starters. I read books - (what doctors think, complications, don't let your HMO kill you, medical blunders etc..) I also watch HOUSE M.D religiously..on top of all this i have people in my life with varying illnesses. I lost my father 3 yrs ago at Kaiser Hospital - ( he asperated due to complications from dementia (alzhiemers) in the ER. that was the diagnosis. we brought him in for a stomach upset. he was dead by the next morning at 11am.... 1 yr + day later my uncle died at Kaiser Oakland as well from pancreatic cancer that matastasized into his liver. he became septic then died. he was diagnosed on July 5th or 6th. he was dead by August 8th (yeah barely a month). he was given a clean bill of health in May of that year. a family friend last yr underwent surgery to his bowel for cancer in part of his anus & pelvic bone. they removed the cancer, closed off his bowel. it took 3 surgeries in 2wks to get it right cause his small intestines kept collapsing. now his latest PET scan revealed the cancer is back & attached to the pelvic bone again & there's so much scar tissue from all the previous surgeries they can't operate so he's now considered terminal. they gave him 2 christmas's..he was looked at by Sutter Medical Center. medical insurance is another topic for another day. that is an absolute travesty...I keep hearing this phrase over & over - we have to die from something! I more less believe we are doomed. look you have to put your name on the headboard & draw on your body to make sure they operate on the right part, that sounds reasurring doesn't it? a bit of advice, if you need cat scans or pet scans & have to wait wks for the tests force them to send you through the ER because they get first priority then oncology then everyone else. I'm trying to find any patient watchdog groups that i can help or be a part of. remember behind heart disease, cancer, diabetes isn't the forth leading cause of death in this country perscription errors? i failed to mention my burning feeling side effect I got when the phsycs tried me on Zoloft for a week & Effexor for 2 more wks. maybe I just can't take SSRI's who knows cause the doctors don't. I don't mean to put the fear of god in anyone who reads this but we need to be aware of how broke the system really is & what's happening to people. sure thousands of people are saved everyday while others need to be on specific medications or they will die. I wanna know just how safe are we? i obsess over this so much i see my life passing me by at 100 miles an hour.
i never used to be like this until I was forced into retirement because of a back injury. my story was at least 3 to 5 surgeries over 5 yrs with a 30% success or just change my life style & work with pain management. guess which option I took. well now I look after my 85 yr old mother with aortic stenosis & her 73 yr old sister with a loose esophagus & mitral valve problems..I'd love to meet or talk to someone who shares similar experiences & the way they deal with their issues. I go to anxiety classes (mainly a bitch session for 1 1/2 hrs a wk) at Kaiser. plus i see a pschologist once a month. I don't see any fix or relief for me as I have tried numerous things. alternative medicine makes me anxious as well.
i do believe it must be just the way I've become hard wired in this way of thinking & obsessing. they've told me you need to find other things to occupy your mind & or time. I've heard it all. cognative behavorial therapy - Dr. Leibgold's phobese classes etc... you know i was laughing when i read that they did one study to find that on average oncologists usually only last about 4 to 5 yrs in that medical field. gee if you told people on a daily basis that they were dying & how much time they had how the hell long would you last? how about a study as to why doctors cut patients
off within the first 18 sec of explaining their symptoms? why hosiptals pay hundreds of dollars for pillows, bedsheets, blankets etc.. why transplant patients are removed from the donor list if they have any type of mental disorder? talk about hypochodria!!!!!

peace & good health to all, for now Raptor

raptor,

Welcome to our forums. That is a pretty Impressive post about Health care and I myself do worry about those things from time to time. Doctors and Meds and everything else. Hope you like being here with us and can't wait to see more of your posts around.