Really bad case of health anxiety

Mine started when I was in my early 30's, right after I had my children. Whenever I got any type of symptom, I immediately thought it was something bad, like CANCER. After my mom died of lung cancer when I was in my mid-thirties, that didn't help things. I go through periods when I pretty good, but then I always fall back and start up all over again. In my mind, I have convinced myself that I have had a brain tumor, ovarian cancer, colon cancer, melanoma, stomach cancer... you name it; I've had it. As I'm writing this, I have to hold back from laughing, but it's really very debilitating and SERIOUS to be plagued by this awful condition. Another thing is that while most hypos run to doctors, I avoid them, too scared to get my deadly results, thus confirming that I was write all along and that I am dying. But sometimes I do go and it's always an awfully anxiety-producing experience, with the doctor thinking I'm nuts! I wish I could rid myself of this awful affliction. I am currently reading some good books on topic, and I am looking for a good therapist who specializes in this problem. I don't want to live like this anymore. I feel like a prisoner. I hate feeling worried and nervous and anxious all the time about my health. I hate worrying constanly if I will get a serious disease and die at a young age (I just turned 50, so I'm not that young, but I don't feel like 50. Anway, if anyone has any good advice for me, please let me know. I need help in getting courage up to GO to the doctor. I think I would feel better if I were reassured. Thanks for listening.

Sharlee wrote: Another thing is that while most hypos run to doctors, I avoid them, too scared to get my deadly results, thus confirming that I was write all along and that I am dying. But sometimes I do go and it's always an awfully anxiety-producing experience, with the doctor thinking I'm nuts!.

har har, same with me. One doctor visit had me almost passed out on the floor before I even went in. I figured I may as well order my tombstone, and it turned out I was fine and the doctor told me to go out enjoy life being that I was so young. I laugh at my hypocondriasis too, or how I used to be when I was just a teenager, always scared I would pass out or die at any minute when I was fine haha, let me know how your therapy goes! And as scary as doctor vists are for us (I'm actually a little better than I used to be, hopefully I'll keep getting better as I age lol), you should go and be screened for lung cancer regulary since it does run in your family (and mammograms too). Think of the relief you'll feel when you find out you don't have it! And even if by chance you do get it, the last ten years has been such a huge leap in cacner knowledge and technology that it's very likely that you will live through it. I know of a 20 year old guy who had a volleyball sized tumor on his lung, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and given a 1% survival rate. He is still here today and he says he feels great and he knows that he'll live a long life. What a great attitude!