Hope?

This is just my thoughts about it for myself.
I have gone through an out patient treatment even though I dishcharged slightly prematurely.
sitting there listening to others in group on a new meds (which worked tons better btw) I realized something after around three weeks of treatment there in group ect coming out of the "fog"
I can't feel.
I can't feel for people.
I never had friends and don't feel at a loss now for any.
I laugh I smile , cry ......on the inside , Nothing. Its always been that way. I can feel physical... anxiety was chronic (under control) .looking back part of depression was an "empty" loss of something? I never found it.
I'm smart.
I don't like hurting people....Never have.
I see other people with anger , joy , sadness, etc.......
What does that feel like?
I'm defiantly a young woman. But I'm not attracted to Anything/Anyone. I want a full life of emotions. How? I don't know.
All I know for sure is this is me so.......
They don't make pills for a heart.
its so odd when the depression "lifted" I didn't even feel Ennui but it didn't alarm me I felt mentally relieved.
How do I Connect???
feed back? questions?

could a moderator please delete this.
Thankyou

Probably sounds lame, but have you considered God or going to church social groups?