What's a self fulfilling prophecy & how do u prevent

My counsoler has said at times that b/c of my fatalism (that I explained here generalized-anxiety/topic92810.html) I cause self-fulfilling prophecies due to that.

However I don't know what the phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy" means.Can anyone explain what it means please?.

Also how would you prevent the "bad ones" (that by their very nature I guess prevent any good change) from happening to someone?.

I don't have all the answers here, still working on my own equivalent of something not so different, but I think i'd say being able to be fully aware of what's going on is the first step.

For example i seem to have a problem with wanting to/trying to make myself fail, but because of this being mostly subconscious, i have very little control over the immediate results of it. E.g. I do a sport, but I keep doing particular skills, (that I should technically know how to do correctly) wrong, because I'm subconsciously self-sabotaging. It happens in other areas of my life too. I know what's happening, but i'm unable to fully, consciously feel those subconscious mechanisms.

If your conscious thinking is the same as that subconscious thinking, it still might be that you're not fully in touch with why those feelings come up, and that the things driving both the thought and feelings are not directly the same as the surface conclusions that come with them. Sometimes its about digging around in your own mind and seeing what you can pull out.

The dialogue of a self fulfilling prophecy goes something like this "I can't do that course, because I know I'll fail. I will give it a go, but I always mess up. I've been told in the past that I can't do it" etc. It's setting yourself up for failure, due to negative self talk, the end result being the very thing that you were afraid of and predicted. By trying to get to the root of the cause, which is often related to self esteem issues, you can retrain yourself to talk to yourself positively, setting up smaller, realistic steps that ultimately take you to your destination. CBT therapy in conjunction with psyco dynamic therapy (that addresses childhood and past issues) can be useful.

a self fulfilling prophecy is a little bit like taking the answer to a equation, then forming the equation. In a psychological example, someone will sub-consciously not want to be vulnerable so they won't try at all and consciously will disguise the ugly truth with a convient excuse like "I'm not going to try talking to that beautiful girl beacuse i'm worthless"; in truth one might say this becuase they are afraid of being rejected and also in truth the beautiful girl might be just as hopelessly wrecked inside as the person beating their self up for no reason (not that uncommon)

Another example could be "that girl is totally into me because she keeps looking at me" when the reason for her looking might be much simpler like you have a smudge on your face or your hair is messed up. Someone who has a tendency to make self-fulfilling prophecies is quick to jump to their conclusions, over confidence is common; my advice is to be a bit more cautious and less presumptious