I'm close to exploding...

Hey folks.

I'll keep this brief.
I just need to vent, I'm close to losing my mind here with no one to talk to who understands or take's one look at my problems and tell's me I deserve what ever I get!

I'm losing my will to live and all hope, I have traits of all Cluster B personality disorders and I'm in the middle of a vicious access battle for my son.
I'm being made out to be a violent bully! Ok, so I got angry, I never hit anyone, especially my child! EVER! I would hunt down anyone who ever hurt my child! But I'm being made out to have psychotic episodes where I lose my mind! Which has never happened! I'm worried that when my mental health history come's out, some joker is going to see "sociopath and psychopath" in large red letters and say "He can't go near his kid, he's nuts"

I'm not violent, I never have been to anyone. So people with personality disorders can't have kids can they not? Well, let's stop people with Depression, Aspergers, Autism, PTSD, and so on!

I guess guys, I'm worried to death that I'm going to lose my child, I am thinking of just topping myself if I lose all access to him. I'm not emotionally hurting him, hell, I praise his mother for such a wonderful job she's doing! I do get supervised access until mid this year, and he come's happy and he leave's happy!

I guess I'm panicing, that these Cluster B traits are going to land me in hot water, I guess I wish I lied when I seen my doctor and made out I was happy as can be and I wouldn't be in this mess! lol.

On a bright note, I am seeking psychotherapy. I hope this can help me become a better human being.

Cheers for reading!

*takes deep breath*

Ciao.

Personality Disorders can be treated very successfully providing the person recognises that they need help, and is willing to undergo psychotherapy. I'm walking proof of that. The therapy isn't easy, and a lot of buried feelings and emotions can be unearthed as a part of the healing process, and it may last for some time, but if you are prepared to go the extra mile and co operate with your therapist, there is a lot of hope for you. Perhaps this could be the biggest gesture of love you could show to your child, a willingness to seek help. If you are willing to make therapeutic changes, and reap the benefits of therapy, then this might help you to maintain your access to your child.