'Normal' person greatly affected by my home atmosphere.

I use the term 'normal' loosely. I really have no mental health issues that I am aware of, but who knows.

I came here looking for help and support.

I don't like long reads so I'll keep this short.

I moved. I moved to get as far away from my best friend who was hurting me emotionally. He wasn't verbally or physically abusive. It's hard to describe but let me just make it the point that I wanted and needed to get away from someone who was I was hurt, frustrated, and annoyed by.

I moved in with someone I've 'known' online for ten years. We weren't close, but she had a room available so I jumped on it. She is VERY aware of what I was running away from.

I've lived here five weeks and I'm already desperate to get out of here. She's like the man I was trying to get away from, but more dramatic and more controlling.

I live here with her and her family. They aren't the problem. She is. They care about her and more importantly, tolerate her, but her and I are not close enough for me to stick it through.

The anxiety of living here has kept me up, made me angry, made me think dark thoughts (again), and I'm so sick of ****ing living here.

How can I get through this? I work a crappy job in retail and I want to move back to the other side, just not anywhere near my past.

Look on the internet for house/flat shares usually its not too expensive, it will allow you to get away from your present situation till you sort your self out.
Sounds like for some reason you are attracted to toxic types. I always was, I'm learning to notice the Red Flags, warning signs that someone is a pain.

I definitely am. I think it's because the non-toxic types want nothing to do with me.

I am being pushed, and pushed, and pushed by these people. I want to move again and I will be looking into that. I just don't know how without having contacts...

There is a great need to distinguish between abnormal vs. clinical too.
I see a lot of people are feeling depressed and that is different from having depression and needing to go to a doctor.

You have probably learned something from the experience.
It's a pity you may have to move again but maybe third time lucky.

I have recently seen/started to see how I have allowed others to control me too much. Too concerned about being nice. I have distanced myself from a controllling friend who seems to need to keep others down in order to make her feel a bit superior.

Perhpas you could think about doing some assertiveness training so that you will attract less controlling people in future and to build better barriers and boundaries psychologically so others cannot control you so easily?

Here are a couple of links if you are interested:

http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/selfhe ... ertiveness

http://www.openlearningworld.com/books/ ... index.html

Also a guide to the types to stay away from:

http://www.manipulative-people.com/

Good Luck

I would say living alone is your best bet. It's pricy. It doesn't come with built-in friends. There's no enemies either.

I try to keep distance between myself and my roommates. Craigslist is one option. Find them, screen them, move, and ignore them. Then you can have friends on the outside and if you're "too busy to see them" it's nothing serious.

You are paranoid. Tell her you need space. Tell her you are paranoid. Then you have breathing room.

Moving to family might be a good option. It might be embarrassing, it might be impossible, who knows. It's an option where you know what to expect. Sorted out the living arrangements and personal stuff and such already.

I'm a fan of stability. An "emergency move" to a better situation might be appropriate. Be confident that it is, in fact, better. Keep in mind that moving too many times has a negative impact on even a healthy person.

Dealing with other people can be hard, but it's the only way to move forward in this world. Try to make friends with those who seem compassionate, and caring.

If you can't afford to live on your own, the easiest way to 'cope', if you will, is to never EVER move in with friends/family. Find an outside source (Craigslist, Kijiji, the local paper, posters at the laundrymat, whatever) for a roommate and make sure understand that this person is only and will only be a roommate. Don't give them any personal information other than what's required to share living space with them.
In the same way you should never mix business with personal life (well, maybe not never, depending where you work, but it's not always the best idea to have co-workers know every detail of your personal life), don't mix your personal life with your roommate any more than you have to.
This will be a person (or persons) you live with as a business transaction so that you don't have to pay so much in rent. That's it. If they become friends, keep a part of your life separate. That way when an argument happens (nothing wrong with arguments/fights - just make sure they're dealt with), you have space to retreat to where this person can't go.
In a nutshell, it's easier to live with strangers sometimes because the emotional investment isn't there and then you don't feel like your life is crashing down on you when it doesn't work out. Some people (I'm one of them) have had to learn the hard way that I am not the type of person to share living space with, so I make sure I can live on my own. For awhile, that meant working double jobs (and taking in work to my apartment as a semi-third) until I got back up on my feet after a move.
I like cats. They don't care if I want to wander around in my PJs at 4 in the afternoon and eat Cheerios for supper.