Why am I having these weird thoughts and feelings? HELP!!

First off, this started with me not long ago, and not long after finishing school (I have finished school about 4 months ago). By the way, I never, never faced this problem when I was at school. I think it started about 1 month ago. I am having very strange and weird thoughts. When I'm playing a video game, I keep thinking: what if I'm playing the game wrongly? What if I'm not good at the game and many others are? And how do people get good in something? Do they get good with practice, or just because they are naturally good? Or do they get good as they gain experience by constantly doing that thing? I also keep thinking about how other players are playing the game, and their skill level/experience with the game. I tried to force myself not to think about how others are playing, as I think it shouldn't be important to me. But this is just an example, though. I don't get those thoughts only about video games. I also get them about everything else. For instance, if a person is good at something, I keep thinking how he got good. And why did particularly he got good at that thing (a job for example) and his fellow peers didn't. I tried to convince myself that it is certainly because he likes what he's doing more than his other peers do, but didn't succeed. And I begin to think what if I didn't succeed to get good in something I wish to be good at.

I'm not sure why I'm getting these thoughts, but they are very annoying and they are constantly bothering me! They are also preventing me from enjoying many things (including video games, which I like so much). Could it be because of my fear of failure which has recently began to develop? I spend most of my time at home, especially after finishing school, and currently have no job. I also spend most of the time in front of the computer, or playing my guitar, and rarely leave home. I know that this is severely wrong, and I'm trying to change it and force myself not to sit in front of the computer and go out. When leaving home, I begin to understand things better. And I think that those thoughts have started popping up in my head because I'm mostly home, and as a result I don't meet many people (though I do have many friends), and this makes these thoughts come because of loneliness. As a result of all of this, my brain begins not to understand things well, and I begin thinking many things that are not right, or are extremely clear and understandable, and don't even require thinking, and which I call "fake thoughts." However, this is only my view toward this situation. I don't know if it's right. Also, someone here in Yahoo! Answers said in a question the your value does not depend on your achievements...

I really hate my life! I don't know how much longer I'm going to take this situation before I eventually blow up... Though I feel that leaving home eases the situation. But did any of you have this situation before and he managed to get rid of it? Or at least does anybody know how to get rid of those stupid thoughts? PLEASE!! I'm in a desperate need for help!!! If anybody has any suggestions that might help, then please tell me.

I would be very grateful for anyone that helps, and any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

You're in for one hell of a ride.

No but really, sounds like you're already on your way to figuring it out. I can't tell you how to make thoughts go away, I'd be a free man if that were the case. It's good to think every once in a while though. This probably isn't the most helpful post, but if the distraction becomes intense and it's like you fall out of existance, that would be a fine time to worry.

oh_that_guy wrote:You're in for one hell of a ride.

No but really, sounds like you're already on your way to figuring it out. I can't tell you how to make thoughts go away, I'd be a free man if that were the case. It's good to think every once in a while though. This probably isn't the most helpful post, but if the distraction becomes intense and it's like you fall out of existance, that would be a fine time to worry.

"You're in for one hell of a ride". I didn't actually understand this sentence at all.. Could you please clarify?

And I'm on my way to figuring what out? What do you exactly mean?

And thanks for your reply.

Disregard the ride comment, I can't predict the future, let alone your future, that was just me being me. Don't get worked up over it, it didn't mean anything.

I said you're on your way to figuring it out because that's how your description sounded to me. You mentioned recently developing a fear of failure. The successful have failed many times, that's how you learn, you learn what not to do in situations with given circumstances and you make the best of it. It's a general statement, but you gave a general "fear of failure" statement as well. But if you fail at something, don't let that be the end of it.

You won't be great at everything you try. Actually, you'll probably be only really great at one thing, okay with some things, and suck with everything else. We as people aren't capable of excelling at everything possible. You pick something you like, if you try to get better at it but you just absolutely can't, pick something else you like and try again. You find something you're good at, and you stick to it. That's why communities thrive, everyone puts their small chunk of change in the pot and it all melds together and everyone moves forward.

And it also sounds to me that the way you keep questioning others, how they got good at something, it sounds like you want to apply lessons that others have learned to your life. There isn't anything wrong with that, we would still be in the stone age if we didn't continue lines of thinking from the previous generation. And it'll save you a lot of time instead of learning something from the very beginning.

If your thinking is distracting you from enjoying what you currently do, maybe it's time to find something else you'd enjoy applying your mind to. If you want to stick with gaming, there's plenty of more in-depth strategy games around, not specifically video games I'm gonna refer to, but maybe like Pinochle, Bridge, Chess, there's a bunch. If that's what you like to get into.

I hope that can shed some light on my earlier comment. Let me ask you this though - along the lines of you being distracted. Do your thoughts keep you up all night long, maybe even several nights? Are they running constantly, and you just don't enjoy anything at all anymore?

oh_that_guy wrote:Disregard the ride comment, I can't predict the future, let alone your future, that was just me being me. Don't get worked up over it, it didn't mean anything.

I said you're on your way to figuring it out because that's how your description sounded to me. You mentioned recently developing a fear of failure. The successful have failed many times, that's how you learn, you learn what not to do in situations with given circumstances and you make the best of it. It's a general statement, but you gave a general "fear of failure" statement as well. But if you fail at something, don't let that be the end of it.

You won't be great at everything you try. Actually, you'll probably be only really great at one thing, okay with some things, and suck with everything else. We as people aren't capable of excelling at everything possible. You pick something you like, if you try to get better at it but you just absolutely can't, pick something else you like and try again. You find something you're good at, and you stick to it. That's why communities thrive, everyone puts their small chunk of change in the pot and it all melds together and everyone moves forward.

And it also sounds to me that the way you keep questioning others, how they got good at something, it sounds like you want to apply lessons that others have learned to your life. There isn't anything wrong with that, we would still be in the stone age if we didn't continue lines of thinking from the previous generation. And it'll save you a lot of time instead of learning something from the very beginning.

If your thinking is distracting you from enjoying what you currently do, maybe it's time to find something else you'd enjoy applying your mind to. If you want to stick with gaming, there's plenty of more in-depth strategy games around, not specifically video games I'm gonna refer to, but maybe like Pinochle, Bridge, Chess, there's a bunch. If that's what you like to get into.

I hope that can shed some light on my earlier comment. Let me ask you this though - along the lines of you being distracted. Do your thoughts keep you up all night long, maybe even several nights? Are they running constantly, and you just don't enjoy anything at all anymore?

Well, your reply actually helped me a lot. I was thinking how people get good at something. I read over the Internet multiple people say that if you, for example, wish to get good at a shooting video game, you should practice. And I began to think, "but such games always have the same drill, 'shoot at the targets', so how one can be good at them if they practice while you absolutely know what you have to do?" Then after you wrote in your reply that we learn from our failures, or things that we do wrong, I began to understand what they really meant by "practice". Wish practice, you get to know what things you're doing wrong, and where your weak points are, and what not to do. That's how I understood it, and I guess that this is what you were referring to when you said "you're on your way to figuring it out."

I actually have many video games with different types. I excel at action adventure games, especially ones that have puzzles, and am good at racing games, but I'm not that good at strategy and shooting games. However, I don't remember being really bad at a certain game, or type of games. But I'm not able to perceive this, so I begin to think "how do people get good at something?" However, this does not stop at video games only. I'm also not able to perceive any good aspects of me, and things that I really excel at. For instance, I play the guitar, and when I play in front of somebody, they go like" wow! Dude you're really good! That's great!" But I always smile and say things like "no... I'm not as good as you think."

One more thing. You said that we as people aren't capable of excelling at everything. But I feel that I'm good at many things, and many people say that I learn fast. That's not my opinion though, as many people tell me this. They also say that I have many good characteristics. And this as well, I'm not able to perceive. However, I think that being able to learn quickly, and being good at several things, is the thing that made me think all those thoughts.

Now to answer your question, my answer would be yes. Those thoughts always keep me up for a certain time, but not all night long. One night, I went to sleep at 10:00 pm, and then I looked at the hour, it was 1:00 am, and then after several minutes, I fell asleep. I admit that it takes me long to be able to fall asleep, about half an hour, but it never took me three hours. And yes, those thoughts are running constantly, and are keeping me from enjoying anything I do. I think that I already mentioned this in my original post.

Thanks again for your helpful replay.

Ameer27 wrote:I actually have many video games with different types. I excel at action adventure games, especially ones that have puzzles, and am good at racing games, but I'm not that good at strategy and shooting games. However, I don't remember being really bad at a certain game, or type of games. But I'm not able to perceive this, so I begin to think "how do people get good at something?" However, this does not stop at video games only. I'm also not able to perceive any good aspects of me, and things that I really excel at. For instance, I play the guitar, and when I play in front of somebody, they go like" wow! Dude you're really good! That's great!" But I always smile and say things like "no... I'm not as good as you think."

The guitar, may have something to do with modesty. There's so much ground to cover with just the instrument, let alone all aspects of music including theory. I think you realize that and are comparing yourself with the greats. I do the same thing too, I hate making egotistical claims especially when that ups the pressure to deliver. But I mean, if it sounds good, that's all that matters really. Good music tells a story without words, it should reflect the ebb and flow of conversation, the effect of tension and resolution should be pleasing to the ear. You don't really have to always compare yourself, maybe to learn something new, but that's the key I feel.

One more thing. You said that we as people aren't capable of excelling at everything. But I feel that I'm good at many things, and many people say that I learn fast. That's not my opinion though, as many people tell me this. They also say that I have many good characteristics. And this as well, I'm not able to perceive. However, I think that being able to learn quickly, and being good at several things, is the thing that made me think all those thoughts.

I wasn't exactly meaning having the ability to learn and learn fast. Being able to pick up on things quick is definitely an advantage to have. What I meant was, and I can't remember where I heard this, but to become what you might call an "expert" at something requires 10,000 hours of devotion to it, something along those lines. There's not enough time to become that kind of expert with too many subjects/fields.

Now to answer your question, my answer would be yes. Those thoughts always keep me up for a certain time, but not all night long. One night, I went to sleep at 10:00 pm, and then I looked at the hour, it was 1:00 am, and then after several minutes, I fell asleep. I admit that it takes me long to be able to fall asleep, about half an hour, but it never took me three hours. And yes, those thoughts are running constantly, and are keeping me from enjoying anything I do. I think that I already mentioned this in my original post.

I'm no expert on sleep, there's a bunch of things you can try to help you get to sleep at night I hear though, usually has something to do with vitamins or changing routines, avoiding caffeine, things of that nature. I have lots of trouble with sleep too, it's real hard to stick to a schedule because of it. Maybe you're too anxious about something, that I can't answer. I'm a tooth grinder too, lately my dreams have been of little people in my gums shoving my teeth out one by one and it hurts too, but I think that's me just clenching too hard. I dunno if you experience grinding too, or have TMJ, that has a bunch of different roots too though. But yea like I said, if the thoughts running in your mind oppressively interfere with your days and you have the option of talking with a professional there's no shame in that. I can't tell you what you experience though. Try everything you can first before hiring someone though. Good luck to ya.

Getting good at something is also about attitude.

Like shooting games, for example. One might think they are easy. But competitively, they are not. It's the fact that the game is so simple on the surface, just shooting the other players, that makes it competitively hard.

It becomes highly nuanced because everyone playing it only has to 'shoot the other players'. So the it becomes more about "how can I shoot first? Can I use tactics? Can I flank them? What if they flank me?" and so on, until it gets complicated beyond standard reasoning.

So how can you get better? Relax, enjoy it, and develop a winning attitude. You're looking for something like Zen here. Yes it takes loads of practice, but it must be practice with the correct mindset - if you are upset that you can lose, then you likely WILL lose. If you feel pumped to make a comeback, then you might actually make a comeback instead of losing. What you do effects what the other players do, and they effect you. Some times just a confident attitude is enough to break them out of their zone and give you the advantage that they normally would have.

oh_that_guy wrote:
I wasn't exactly meaning having the ability to learn and learn fast. Being able to pick up on things quick is definitely an advantage to have. What I meant was, and I can't remember where I heard this, but to become what you might call an "expert" at something requires 10,000 hours of devotion to it, something along those lines. There's not enough time to become that kind of expert with too many subjects/fields.

Wow 10,000 hours? Really? I calculated them, and I found out that you need 4.5 years to become an expert at something, that's if you are devoted to it 6 hours a day.

Anyway, I'm shy, and I get tension when talking to people, and as a result I take a medicine called Cipralex. This medicine calms me down, so it makes it easier for me to be around people and talk to people. However, to get to the point, I have recently stopped taking it, after taking it for about 3 months. Do you think that stopping taking the medicine could have an effect on what's happening to me?

Ameer27 wrote:Wow 10,000 hours? Really? I calculated them, and I found out that you need 4.5 years to become an expert at something, that's if you are devoted to it 6 hours a day.

And that's if you don't take into account that the brain can only absorb so much new information in one day, and also enough sleep to make sure the brain has a chance to sort everything out subconsciously.

Anyway, I'm shy, and I get tension when talking to people, and as a result I take a medicine called Cipralex. This medicine calms me down, so it makes it easier for me to be around people and talk to people. However, to get to the point, I have recently stopped taking it, after taking it for about 3 months. Do you think that stopping taking the medicine could have an effect on what's happening to me?

I'm no doctor, but that could very well be it. Is that a prescription? Maybe talk with the doctor who signed it over and see what he has to say.

oh_that_guy wrote:

Ameer27 wrote:Wow 10,000 hours? Really? I calculated them, and I found out that you need 4.5 years to become an expert at something, that's if you are devoted to it 6 hours a day.

And that's if you don't take into account that the brain can only absorb so much new information in one day, and also enough sleep to make sure the brain has a chance to sort everything out subconsciously.

Anyway, I'm shy, and I get tension when talking to people, and as a result I take a medicine called Cipralex. This medicine calms me down, so it makes it easier for me to be around people and talk to people. However, to get to the point, I have recently stopped taking it, after taking it for about 3 months. Do you think that stopping taking the medicine could have an effect on what's happening to me?

I'm no doctor, but that could very well be it. Is that a prescription? Maybe talk with the doctor who signed it over and see what he has to say.

I'll for sure see the doctor. I will continue taking it anyway, I stopped just because the current box has ran out, and it takes some time to be delivered.

In addition, I know you're not a doctor, but sense I have finished I had a constant depression. And still having. But this medicine also helps to lower depression. Do you think that depression might be the key to all that's happening? Also, some people over the Internet, at a different site on the same topic posted by me, said that those thoughts are normal. They think that they are just a sign of maturing. I'm about 18.5 years old. Did you have like, or similar to, the thoughts that I'm currently having at around my age?