I've lost hope..

As the days go by I feel more and more lost. I don’t even feel sadness anymore, I feel nothing. I honestly would rather feel miserable then feel nothing at all. It’s unbearable and I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I used to at least have hope and belief that everything would end up okay. But now I feel empty and completely hopeless. I don’t even know what to do and I’m scared. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to dying. My life has never been this bad before. I feel completely alone and I have no one to talk to. I’ve lost all the close friends I’ve ever had and the friends I do have mean nothing to me. I don’t care to let them in because they really don’t seem worth my time. I only have them in my life temporary so I’m not completely alone. But once I move and get out of here they’re gone. I used to look forward to leaving and starting over, but not so much anymore. I feel like even if I leave things won’t get better. I’ll still be alone and I’ll still be stuck with this feeling of emptiness. I’ve become so negative and I’ve lost all desire to try and fix my life. I’m just so tired of dealing with this by myself and just pray that someone amazing could come along and help me. Everyone around me has somebody. Either a boyfriend or a best friend, but I have no one. I long so much to be loved but it just seems to not be happening. I have too much baggage and I’m too inexperienced for anyone to take a chance at me. I truly feel not good enough because that is how everyone treats me. It’s like I’m not even worth the chance. If I stop being friends with someone it’s like it doesn’t even matter. They just go on with their lives like I never happened and don’t even care. Am I that worthless? Do people really not care enough if I was gone? It really seems to be that way. I just need help. Why won’t God help me? Why won’t anyone else. I can’t talk to my friends because I’m too “negative” and they have their own stuff to deal with. I’m sorry I’m not happy and my life is miserable. It’s not my life. No matter how bad my life has gotten I’ve always been there for my friends, always there to help them. But it seems like when it comes to me needing help it doesn’t matter. Most of them aren’t even capable of understanding anyways. They say they “understand” and they have similar problems but they don’t. I’d die to have their lives. Yeah they’re not perfect but still a whole lot better than mine. They have boyfriends and best friends. I try, I really do, to get out there and meet people. It just seems that anyone I truly let in ends up hurting me. I’ve stopped trusting everyone. I don’t know if it’s me or what but I can’t keep a relationship. I always end it but I truly believe that they are bad people. It just makes me sick because I feel like I have a disease and it’s just my “mind” and my feelings are all lies. I’m just so lost and I truly don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like a lost cause and no matter what people say those feelings don’t go away. I take medicine, I go to a counselor, but nothing seems to help. I’ve truly given up and I feel sick inside.

Have you read or listend to 'The power of Now', by Eckhart Tolle?

Some of what you wrote reminded me of what he wrote in the beginning of his book - as his experience.

Sounds like we both have the same problems: No friends, no significant other, feeling unimportant and worthless while everyone else has someone or something to wake up to. It's discouraging trying to meet someone but they end up hurting you in some way, shape, or form isn't it?

As far as I'm concerned there's no such thing as 'being negative'. If people are saying you're just being 'negative' THEY'RE WRONG!! If someone gets hit by a car and they're complaining that it hurts when they try to move is that person being 'negative'? No. What you're saying to them is no different. The world is full of ignorant fools.

Anyway try and take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one who feels this way. You can PM me if you wanna talk.

I thought I was reading about my life as I was reading about yours. I don't think reading the Power of Now will really make that much of a difference, although it is a good read.

I thought I was reading about my life as I was reading about yours.

BCharles wrote: It just makes me sick because I feel like I have a disease and it’s just my “mind” and my feelings are all lies. I’m just so lost and I truly don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like a lost cause and no matter what people say those feelings don’t go away. I take medicine, I go to a counselor, but nothing seems to help. I’ve truly given up and I feel sick inside.

I feel this way also. Do not know why.
Just hanging on by a thread everyday.
There has to be a way. But nothing seems to work.
Why???

Happiness is no easy thing to find. I know the things I say here may seem "too easy" to believe, but YOU have find that peace and understanding in YOURSELF. Other people's kind words and advice will help but finding those words in yourself is way better. I understand how you may be feeling. Every person thinks about giving up but you have to push through. The best advice I can give is to look deep in yourself and find the key to your chains. Only you can break these chains. God has not given up on you. God never gives up on anyone. The only time people give up is when they give up on themselves. No person in this world should ever have power over your feelings.

I encourage you to go out there and meet all kinds of people. Go where ever your heart leads you. Make your own decisions on who to trust and "let In". You will know who has your best interest at heart. The main thing you DON'T want to do is isolate yourself in fear. Always remember that the most important day is "tomorrow" not "yesterday". The future can be as bright as you see it, or it can be as dark and dismal as you see it. My main plea is that you accept that YOU control the feelings of your life. No person can make you feel anyway that you don't allow yourself to feel. I hope that you find the inner peace you are seeking. So go out there and seek those simple things that make your life worth living. Good luck and I will pray for your happiness!

It's interesting to see that there are other people who feel like this. Already a few people have said that they identify with everything you said, OP, and I can add my voice to theirs. Some people, apparently, are heartened to know that there are other people who feel the same way they do.

radioboy86 wrote:Every person thinks about giving up but you have to push through.

Why? That is the question that I find myself asking, when I think about statements like these. I won't speak for the others here, but if I feel that there is no hope, then why should I feel obliged to "push through"? I'm not trying to start an argument here, and I know you mean well and are trying to help. I'm just saying that this is how my mind reacts.

God has not given up on you. God never gives up on anyone.

I'm an atheist. But if the others in this thread believe in God, then maybe that will help them find hope, and that's fine if it works for them.

Kivie wrote:It's interesting to see that there are other people who feel like this. Already a few people have said that they identify with everything you said, OP, and I can add my voice to theirs. Some people, apparently, are heartened to know that there are other people who feel the same way they do.

radioboy86 wrote:Every person thinks about giving up but you have to push through.

Why? That is the question that I find myself asking, when I think about statements like these. I won't speak for the others here, but if I feel that there is no hope, then why should I feel obliged to "push through"? I'm not trying to start an argument here, and I know you mean well and are trying to help. I'm just saying that this is how my mind reacts.

God has not given up on you. God never gives up on anyone.

I'm an atheist. But if the others in this thread believe in God, then maybe that will help them find hope, and that's fine if it works for them.

Have often thought there should be recycling station for people like me. Could turn myself in for parts like at a junk yard. Whatever the going rate was for human junk I could leave to my family.
At least then I would have had a purpose for existing at all.

I am new here BCharles and I can relate to your post. I have been in a dark place last year. However, I have made changes in my life and so far it seems to be working somewhat. But there are still many things I have to work on. I know that I have been eating alot better by changing my diet. I use to eat alot of sugar and that would keep me over the edge. I have also cut down on the caffeine because every time I would drink coffee, I would feel more depressed. Since I have made these changes, I do believe now that changes in your diet can help to cope more with life in a positive way. Well I am talking from my experience anyway... If you need to talk, you can always talk to me because I care. Hang in there:)