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I met my dad after 16 years!!!

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I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby FrayedEndOfSanity » Sun Sep 27, 2009 2:14 am

I met with my dad today, after not having seen him for sixteen years.

It was awesome.

Technically, he's not my biological dad--my mother and I lived with him for less than 2 years. Regardless, he left a lasting, good impression...and I was lucky enough to see him today. (Prelude to the meeting here: grief-loss/topic42648.html)

My fiance and I were over there this evening...I'm so glad that he lives in an apartment building where people help him with medication. He lives far better than I expected. I'm a bit worried about his shaking and the cockroaches, but he has a roof, food, furniture, medication...and his mind is active and brilliant! We talked about books, philosophy and poetry. He put together the best meal he could possibly have laid out. Two bottles of champagne, shrimp and crab salad, strawberries, cantaloupe and lox. I couldn't help but wonder what percentage of his monthly pension he shelled out on welcoming us. It's not the money, of course--it's the effort.

We ate off of our old plates that I haven't seen since I was ten-turning-eleven. He still has my picture on his bookshelf. No matter what hellish drugs he was/was not on, he kept his library. He gave me a beautiful, three-volume dictionary to encourage me to hone my Russian language skills...and a wonderfully executed, pen-drawn self-portrait, signed "To my lovely daughter--Dad." I already framed it.

He loved my fiance. Tears welled up in my father's eyes when my fiance told him how well I've spoken of him through the years, and how much I had missed him.

We walked out of the apartment building together. I was on my father's arm. My fiance and I got in the car, and my father decided to take a walk. His hands were in his pockets, and there was a lightness in his 64-year-old step. We're having him over for dinner very, very soon.


I am one lucky, lucky, lucky girl.
Do not take my advice before talking to your doctor/counselor/other professional. Depending on where you live, you may be able to find free, confidential care. Most importantly, sometimes your shrink can be wrong. Get a second opinion.
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby jasmin » Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:02 pm

It sounds like you had a great time and you healed some wounds, FrayedEndOfSanity. I'm happy for you :D
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby Incorrigible » Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:56 pm

Glad to hear everything went better than expected! :D :D
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby FrayedEndOfSanity » Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:25 am

Thank you, both of you. You guys have been and are pure awesome.

It also feels really good to share something wonderful, and have it met with joy. Thank you for being happy for me. :D <3
Do not take my advice before talking to your doctor/counselor/other professional. Depending on where you live, you may be able to find free, confidential care. Most importantly, sometimes your shrink can be wrong. Get a second opinion.
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby jasmin » Mon Sep 28, 2009 4:34 pm

Hope you guys spend more quality time together in the future too :D
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby emofree » Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:32 am

now that is really positive and congrats on finding your dad may you guys live happily ever after ... I'm very happy for you ... :D
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby penelopa » Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:25 pm

Congratulatios, FrayedEndOfSanity! I haven't read your previuos post and were a little bit confused about what you were tlking about but I however did it and want to say you are such a clever girl and it really meant so much for your father to see yiu again after so many years of separation (I really thin what I have just written)! He is your real dad, believe me. It doesn't matter that he's not your biological father - the person who left so many pleasant memories behind him and even made his first step to peace between you, is worth to be called a real father! once again, my congrats to all of you and don't break with him anymore, I think this will kill him for sure.

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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby FrayedEndOfSanity » Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:27 am

Thank you, all of you... I visited him again this evening, and I think that he and I are on our way to a healthy father-daughter relationship. :)

Heh, I even have his name, even though we're not related by blood. The Russian way is that the father's first name is always the kid's "middle" (patronymic?) name. In English, it would be Jane "of-John" Doe. So I'm R**** of-Alexander R*******. Sweet coincidence. :mrgreen:

So, yeah, I've got my father back. For now, at least. If he doesn't keep the liver specialist appointment that I happened to see by his phone, I'm going to kick his ass personally... :mad:
Do not take my advice before talking to your doctor/counselor/other professional. Depending on where you live, you may be able to find free, confidential care. Most importantly, sometimes your shrink can be wrong. Get a second opinion.
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby jasmin » Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:27 pm

Haha :) Well, make sure he goes to the doctor like he's suposed to!
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Re: I met my dad after 16 years!!!

Postby oanadoledo » Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:53 pm

Nice.I meet mine after 13 yeers
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