please help me help my best friend

I'm sorry, don't know where to post or who to ask for help. My best friend has had quite a few problems growing up. An ex, his babysitter, and a couple of other people in his life either killed themselves or died young. As a result, he's been getting professional help since he was young, but it is not helping. He has told me repeatedly that he wishes he could care about people, but he can't. I'm his complete opposite, tend to be extremely emotional and care too much about everything. We've only known each other for a little over a year, and became friends when he was there for me when I needed someone. Up to a month ago I felt like we were getting somewhere, that he was trusting me with personal information and saw me as a friend. But the last 3 weeks or so... everything has completely gone to hell. He knows which buttons to push, so my first instinct is to just find a quiet corner and cry until I forget he exists because he knows how to hurt me and he does. Repeatedly. I guess my problem is I'm not sure if he's just sick of me and I'm making a complete fool of myself for trying again and again to forgive and reconnect, or if by letting him push me away I would be making things worse for him. I've asked him what is going on, why he is acting that way, and get no real response. I have my own issues so I'm easily wounded and perhaps not the best person to help him, but he doesn't really open up to people often, so I think if I'm gone I will somehow be proving to him that all people who care about him end up leaving. Not sure if that makes any sense.

I'm an eternal optimist and willing to continue letting him push me away if there's any chance I can help him, even if I continue to get hurt in the process, because I think he's an amazing person and totally worth the effort and pain. I'm even risking coming across as someone who has bored him to tears and just can't take a hint, if that's the case. He doesn't like emotional displays or any type of confrontation, so I probably will never get a straight answer on anything. If he's just pushing away because I'm outside his comfort zone, I wish I could help--I just don't know what I can do. The more he pushes, the more I try, and things keep getting worse.

Please help.

You have answered some of your own question. The more you try the more he pushes you away. You should find a zone that you can be there for him and protect your self at the same time. Hard to do, but you might as well start now as it sounds like you will have to learn your boundaries or get hurt your entire life. If not by him then someone else. Personally it sounds like you have gotten close and he is so use to being left he is making you leave and since you share he knows exactly how to do the job. The most important thing is to prove him wrong. You don’t have to open up to get hurt continually, just some to prove to him you will be there. Just a thought is this time of year a possible trigger for him??? Good luck he is fortunate to have a friend like you.

Thank you so much for your response.
I'm tired, and frustrated, and very much needed that.

sils,

I agree with the above members post. Dont let him hurt you.
Like D. said, find a zone you are comfortable in, and sometimes
I know it is hard but you have to give tough love.

If he knows your buttons and pushes them, that is not right.
So protect yourself. You know that he has problems and you should not take his issues on. It is hard to do, but Balance is
the key.

good luck, you are a good friend,
Red