I am living in a loop

Hi,
Since I've entered college (now I am in the second year) I feel like I am trapped in a loop. I live by inertia. I have no purpose in life, I don't know exactly why I have to wake up in the morning.

But let me be more specific. In the first year I had some form of (not so severe) depression. After some really bad dreams and after I begged for help while I was asleep (yes, I've talked while I was asleep), I have decided to visit I a psychiatrist and, after, a psychologist. They gave me some pills (actovegin, milgama and imovane). I went to the psychologist weekly for (like) 5 months. In the last week I remember that she told me that I should get a girlfriend. She admitted that I have depression and she said that this would help me get over it. I tell you this because at the time (and even now) I doubted that advise. At that time I was a mess (socially speaking). I mean that I wasn't able to talk to a girl.

On the professional side of life, in the first year school, was kind of interesting to me. I already knew some of the courses from high school. I had some trouble making friends, most of the school mates
talked to me just because I could help them with homeworks. This year, school became really boring to me, I just force my self to finish college because I know that without it chances to survive in life are smaller. This year I have also started smoking because I couldn't handle the stress anymore.
I also have a part-time job that I start to see that I don't like that much. In the summer of 2016 I worked for a company and I've continued my collaboration after the summer. But one friend of mine told me of a cool job in college for a professor. I thought that this new job will give me some more time for studying because it was already in college (no time wasted with transport), so I quit the previous one. But before I did that I worked at both jobs for a month. So, that month I had 2 part-time jobs and school.

Also, my best friend always tells me that I am a mess and I really need to change something in my life. He told me that because every time I leave the house I look very scared. This is because I somehow have the impression that people are starring at me and think I am looser or some sort of failure.

Now, I am thinking to go and find a new psychologist, but I wasn't sure that what I got is a real problem, that's why I wrote this post. What do you think, do my problems (if they are problems indeed) deserve the attention of a psychologist or is it all in my head?

Hello, deepinside. I've had the same problem. It's absolutely deserving of the attention of a counselor or psychologist. I've also experienced some dramatic improvements and learned some valuable lessons in the process myself.

Having a sense of purpose certainly helps. Like your previous psychologist suggests, a girlfriend may benefit you greatly. A girlfriend would partly depend on you for support, amusement, intimacy, and more. Being depended on can be motivational, give you a reason to get up in the morning, and be purposeful as a result. However, depending on other people, like a girlfriend, for providing us with motivation and purpose can be tricky. Relationships in particular because they, well, can end and end abruptly. Then what do you do? You're back at square one and it can be a similar cycle of looking for meaning - a similar feeling of being stuck in a loop. This time, however, it's with added problems of being debilitated by heart-break, disappointment, and feelings of inadequacy. This can help but there's also an even better solution than this.

What you might be looking for is a sense of purpose that comes from within. This can be accomplished through defining parts of what you believe makes a good person a good person and attempting to do more of what that kind of person would do. I'm a psych student and have had the dubious but enlightening experience of learning about some of the problems I myself experience as I've been experiencing them. Like you, I've felt stuck in a vicious, depressed cycle (or as you say, a loop). You might be looking for a sense of purpose that comes from within because this is supported as being a stronger source of esteem than sources of esteem that depend on other people, like the esteem we get from our pay at jobs, relationships, and the like.

This is what I've tried and its been working. I think being kind, helping classmates, occasionally picking up litter, writing responses like this one, and other simple acts makes someone more of a good person. Because I'm able to do at least some of what I believe makes someone good, I can assure myself I'm a good person. Then when I feel judged, disliked, and all those other terrible feelings we can feel about ourselves, I can say and ask, "Yeah, that's not great, but... does it make me a worse person?" Whenever the answer is no, and it usually is, I can tell myself it's no big deal because the biggest deal is being a good person. I can then remind myself I am good and go about my day less debilitated and less stuck than I have in the past. The reasons this works for me suggest it may also work for you.

We all are living in a rapid feedback loop -> our consciousness.

Your experience is not a goal but a tool. There is underlying purpose to your existance. The reason people are feeling depressed or sad is because of valuing their experience more than what they are actually designed to do.

I suggest you watch this vid -> https://www.twitch.tv/videos/122081335