When the light gets dim

My fire was going out.
I use to think that talking to someone would help me.
I guess you have to find the right person...but they are out there right? (yup they are here)

Well, my one person I talked to...about my abuse issues and current mental issues...she uh...isnt much of a freind anymore. I feel bad more saying that but hearing her say its MY fault brings no hope for me.
BUT
There are place like this......where people knoe exactly what you are going through and if not, you can feel there pain because of the things THEy go through as well. I have only been here for a day but I am loving it already. Now this is HOPE

BlackholeInside,

Glad to hear that you are loving the site after only one day. There are the right people out there to talk too, it could just take some time to find them. Hopefully you will continue to use the site and gain more hope from others.

BlackholeInside wrote:My fire was going out.
I use to think that talking to someone would help me.
I guess you have to find the right person...but they are out there right? (yup they are here)

Well, my one person I talked to...about my abuse issues and current mental issues...she uh...isnt much of a freind anymore. I feel bad more saying that but hearing her say its MY fault brings no hope for me.
BUT
There are place like this......where people knoe exactly what you are going through and if not, you can feel there pain because of the things THEy go through as well. I have only been here for a day but I am loving it already. Now this is HOPE

Hello, BlackholeInside,
What a really nice post. I have on lady that I went to for quite some time when I was younger, I really had to work to keep my boundries with her. Years past and I was having my first child, I had often thought of buying a present but knew if I did I would cross a line that I believed I should not. At an appt near Christmas my spouse came with me, and from the door I could see the present she had just set out, just one with Christmas Baby Wrap.

During the session, I mentioned seeing the perfect present for her. yet not buying it for professional boundry reason's. After a 10 or so had passed she took the baby present to her kitchen. I had almost all ways seen her in her home.

Slowly we drifted. I had out grown her. Sad but true. I know I could call her to this day and she would help me, after all these years. She helped me survive.

or that is a clear ramble.. sorry

Your post was just so true. There is hope here. I liked it.

red

Hey thanks.

I try not to thinka bout her, but I do in fact work with her still. There are days she wants me to just go up to her and say hi...give he rhugs and all but she doesnt undertsand what phobias and fears I have and feelings. Cause of the social phobias and all and she asks me how I am and I always say "fine" cause I cry when I need to tak of problems and all. But she sometimes ignores me if I dont say Hi to her first then I feel guilty. I am almost obsessed with her in a way..just thinking of how I could talk to her and make her get it even though I know she wont but I cant get it off my mind cause she hurt me so much by blamming me cause if she asks "did he come over again" or "what happened to your arm" even though she already knows the answers and I look at her and she rolls her eyes....ahhh

(ok now I am ranting)

but luckly I have the computer now

My answer

When the lights get dim...TRY TO KEEP IT BURNING AND YOU CAN DO THIS.