Thoughts about God?

I used to pray and believe in god but it became extremely clear to me that god either does not exist, is unable to do anything for me, or actively hates me and finds pleasure in my suffering. Prayer has never helped anything at all for me.

Meditation has been a tiny bit helpful, just to kind of calm down the circuits. I don't bother with god though, because if he's real then ###$ him with a billion dicks because of all the $#%^ he puts me through or lets me go through without sending any kind of help at all.

I personally don't believe prayer does anything without the work behind it. You have to work for the things you want to see changing in front of you. It's not magic. I think a lot of people believe that if they pray, God will make things happen. Truth is, you have to make things happen behind the prayer, but prayer just makes you think it's magical, and helps. If you feel it helps you, so be it, but you need to put the work in for it to really work for you. That's why you haven't seen any changes, because you're relying on the words and not the work.