Is it "wrong" to have self-confidence come from your lover?

I've been thinking about how most of my issues including my underattneded track record of socialization come from a major lack of self-confidence. I've also thought about how in a embedded and underlying way imo,ppl couple up b/c they seek that kind of affirmation and intimacy from others, so particular that they'd be up to spending the rest of there life with someone.

Which makes me think,is it a misguided mis-notion to think that my self-confidence won't really "kick in" and/or be generated until I have a gf?. B/c I just have a feeling that,that'd be giving a big burden of constant encouragement onto a gf,(something I'm sure a lot of women don't really always feel keen on doing) and it might be the first step in something dysfunctional like co-dependency.

Any thoughts,good ppl?.

Your self-confidence must come from you. You have to build it when you are still a single. Why? Well, because if you will build it only when with a gf, each time you break up your relationship you will be down and depressed. That is very bad. So, do whatever you need to do to be self-confident NOW. If you need a therapist for that, find one. If you think that some books can help you, start read. But you have to build your own personality when you are not in a relationship. And when you do that, of course, your s-c will be bigger when you find gf, but you will be ok if you end this relationship.

Mike78tan wrote:Your self-confidence must come from you. You have to build it when you are still a single. Why? Well, because if you will build it only when with a gf, each time you break up your relationship you will be down and depressed. That is very bad. So, do whatever you need to do to be self-confident NOW. If you need a therapist for that, find one. If you think that some books can help you, start read. But you have to build your own personality when you are not in a relationship. And when you do that, of course, your s-c will be bigger when you find gf, but you will be ok if you end this relationship.

Thank you very much Mike78tan