Looking for work when im useless at everything.

I feel a tangle of emotions. I want to go back to working. I want to marry my boyfriend and have another baby. But none of that is going to happen until I get a job and show I really am a more stable responsible person now.
I want to have a profession I can say is MY job and bring money home that I can say I earned. I want a daily grind of working, I want work colleuges and a lunch break and a home time.

But it's scary. How am I supposed to convince anyone of anything when I'm sure i'm useless at everything. Seriously I'm that bumbly person that makes ridiculous mistakes that everyone curses. I'm slow, awkward, my maths really is awful and I tune out as soon as I hear something that sounds like a sum. My English is not much better. My handwriting looks like a 6 year olds, not in the same way a doctors or mechanics does, more like I've only just learnt how to write. I'm stupid. I really am stupid.

Why would anyone pay me for anything?

I'm useless at waitressing and bar work, Can't do care homes, Get claustrophobic in most shops. Lose my cool around kids. Feel very uncomfortable around 4+ yrs. Office work looked to be an idea but everywhere asks for someone with a fast speeding type, mine isn't. and even if it was close my spelling mistakes are worse when I'm typing so that I have to correct at least one word in every sentence.

Sorry feeling a lot of self pity.

I know there's a chance that once I get some kind of job I'll discover skills but I've got to get a job first. I've tried applying for voluntary jobs either not heard anything back or backed out of applying because they want me to fill out an application form stating why I'd be so good for them.

I've started stopping seeing my T if that makes sense. She says she thinks i'm ready and I think so to most of the time. I really want it. But right now I have all sorts of negative ideas in my head.... Really very negative voices..

I can completely relate with you, I also felt that I was unemployable at one stage. But the biggest problem is that, as was with me, that you are underestimating yourself. God has given every body with some positive traits through which we can earn our daily bread and better and also excel at some skill or the other.

You need to have a quiet time with yourself and formulate your goals in life and how you are going to achieve them? then learn the skills required for your cherished objective.

Remember no body is useless, its just that lot of times we do not have our focus right.