Challenge for HPD's - Help Me Decide What's Going On.

Challenge for HPD's. Interepret the following from an email response and face book postings by a suspected HPD and tell me if this is someone who is playing games.


She has a history of engaging multiple lovers simultaneously like being active with 3 to 4 going but each individually.

She's admitted that she has slept with more than one of those lovers in and on the very same day.

When asked WHY she felt like she had to have multiple sex partners she respsoned with:

The reason for multiple sex partners was because not a single one ever gave me what I wanted physically or emotionally never.

Will ANY man ever be ENOUGH?

I don't think she's changed her stripes but she says she has. What do you think? Am I being played as (one of the lovers) in her game?


The Following Paragraphs Are Snippets From An Email Response From MY 34 year old suspected HPD Girlfriend After Confronting Her About Provocative Posts And Contact From NEW and Past "Friends" in August of This Year.

August 29th, 2012

here i go agian crying and uncontrolled shaking. i will be late for work but i dont care right now. YOUR so very very very wrong.i dont know what you have masterminded in your head. I DONT LIE TO YOU ! for the very reason that i know when it comes down to it i dont have to i know you love enough that anything i tell you we could get through. but yu are so very very wrong this matter. ok first there is only 2 ex people on my fb account both of which should be deleted which doenst even matter because its off now.

Now the 22 year old was just a booty call, I would see him for my lunch break like 3 days a week he played me like a fiddle to he was not cute at all but was very hung and was a quick ###$.

I had 3 men texting me and asking me out during jan feb and mar this year all of which i denied i had no eyes for anyone else its how i knew i was done playing i had no eyes to even look at anyone else the way i saw you. i was holding something very precious very early on and i refuse still to this day to taint it in any form or fashion. and the 3 men that would not leave me alone i tried being nice and just saying no in a nice way but when that failed i flat out told them i was happy and seeing someone already. that worked just fine. they have all left me alone


BUT here's what she said on Face Book that initiated my concern.


From Face Book
August 2012

word of the day its a big one now ....WOW
Like · · August 17 at 5:16pm via mobile ·


so i heard the sweetest guy voice my ears have ever heard over the phone like oh my gosh . What way to make me smile.
Like · · August 15 at 6:19pm via mobile ·


word of the day h o r n y
Like · · August 11 at 2:58pm via mobile ·



hi ho hi ho its off to the shower i go thanks to swimmers abs, red jeeps and well hmmmmmmm
Like · · August 5 at 12:03am via mobile ·




FRIDAY COULD GET INTERESTING and EXCITING andHIGHLY ENJOYABLE we shall see we shall see. Im multi tasking to mask rte now be bk in a few
Like · · August 4 at 8:11pm via mobile·

[Other Facebook User] What's on Friday or is that a dumb question?
August 4 at 8:14pm via mobile · Like

no its a secret covert operation kinda Friday heheheh
August 4 at 8:28pm via mobile · Like

-- Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:34 am --

I just wanted to follow up with that it seems pretty obvious from her remarks on Face Book that she's got other things on her mind and posting these remarks for particular members of her fanclub.

"Word of the Day: it's a big one now...WOW"

"Friday could get EXCITING and INTERESTING and HIGHLY ENJOYABLE..."

"multitasking to mask"

Are we kidding, really?

She is only playing you if you let her. How do you not let her? Stop talking to her, break all contact.
She is HPD and in control. Ok, I'm not a shrink (but I do carry the HPD diag) so I'll rephrase that to; I strongly believe she is HPD and she is certainly in control.

OtherHPD wrote:...I strongly believe she is HPD and she is certainly in control.

Absolutely true.

We may honestly believe if we just hang in there and keep trying out of 'love' that something will get better, but we also have to be honest with ourselves, some of what keeps us trying is our bruised ego. The person with HPD has the 'upper hand' in the game of ego battles. Accepting that is a big key to letting go.

She is in control. A lifetime of mastering the art of getting ego strokes from others. She has a huge world of males who will eagerly jump to provide those ego strokes in exchange for sexual attention from her, and if that's not enough, as the relationship progresses, she may even find ego strokes in being emotionally cruel, playing the upper hand card. Could be jealousy games, or subtle reminders she could easily dump you for another, or just a cruel poke at something she knows threatens your ego. We can build our egos up by improving ourselves, or putting others down. For someone who is in desperate need for near constant ego boosts, putting others down, even her own lover, is not off the table.

She has the upper hand, and probably will until much later in life when her looks have faded, and sexual innuendo no longer has any sway over random men.

When you can't win, or even tie, your best option is to stop playing. Just keep in mind, it's her lack of true self-esteem that is behind it all. It is not an enviable position to be in, no matter how strong she may appear outwardly, or how ego bruised you may feel today.

xdude wrote:

OtherHPD wrote:...I strongly believe she is HPD and she is certainly in control.

Absolutely true.

We may honestly believe if we just hang in there and keep trying out of 'love' that something will get better, but we also have to be honest with ourselves, some of what keeps us trying is our bruised ego. The person with HPD has the 'upper hand' in the game of ego battles. Accepting that is a big key to letting go.

She is in control. A lifetime of mastering the art of getting ego strokes from others. She has a huge world of males who will eagerly jump to provide those ego strokes in exchange for sexual attention from her, and if that's not enough, as the relationship progresses, she may even find ego strokes in being emotionally cruel, playing the upper hand card. Could be jealousy games, or subtle reminders she could easily dump you for another, or just a cruel poke at something she knows threatens your ego. We can build our egos up by improving ourselves, or putting others down. For someone who is in desperate need for near constant ego boosts, putting others down, even her own lover, is not off the table.

She has the upper hand, and probably will until much later in life when her looks have faded, and sexual innuendo no longer has any sway over random men.

When you can't win, or even tie, your best option is to stop playing. Just keep in mind, it's her lack of true self-esteem that is behind it all. It is not an enviable position to be in, no matter how strong she may appear outwardly, or how ego bruised you may feel today.

Thank you Xdude again! You've pretty much been counseling me through all this. You're good. Are you a psychologist?

I am starting to understand this person's mindset now. To tell you the truth, the provocative behavior and "baiting" seems so juvenile to me that it's hard to imagine a grown adult acting this way for attention. But then, when actually see the kind of things she says for the "group" on her Facebook then it leaves no doubt that this adult is indeed acting this way towards a supply of males she has on hand. According to what I've read here on this forum, that is pretty much a staple of a female HPD.

Well, I keep getting the advice guided toward the same conclusion which is to cut my ties, hurt and heal, and then move on. I just wanted to see what third party perspective had to say. It must have been pretty obvious from what you guys read that she was being dishonest. You know it's funny, when you confront them on stuff like this, they can almost make you believe anything opposite of what's obviously happening.

rmh -

rmh wrote:Thank you Xdude again! You've pretty much been counseling me through all this. You're good. Are you a psychologist?

I am starting to understand this person's mindset now. ...

No I'm not. A psych background and experience, but don't have my psychologists degree, and just drawing on personal experience. Several of us have been in the same situation you are going through.

OtherHPD was correct. The best thing you can do really is to get out of this situation and reclaim your sanity, and your sense of personal worth. Someone out there will appreciate you. Sex really does blind us guys sometimes. Been there, done that.

Best wishes,

X

rmh wrote:It must have been pretty obvious from what you guys read that she was being dishonest. You know it's funny, when you confront them on stuff like this, they can almost make you believe anything opposite of what's obviously happening.

Of course we can make you believe anything opposite of what's obviously happening, that's part of being HPD! It's an odd skill that has many uses, most of the time we use if for ourselves though.
Anyway, that's why I recommend to cut all ties and GO. The important part here is to KEEP THEM CUT! I can guarantee she will be after you within 6 months just to see if she can get you back to being one of her toys. She will likely have a better plan and better lies so don't believe her, why? Because without serious mental health help she is NEVER going to change.

Any by the way, when she gets old and starts to lose her looks she will go to great lengths to keep her body in great shape and that is a pretty good offset for a lot of men so she never really will be forced to stop until she is elderly. Even then the HPD will take a different form.

OtherHPD wrote:Of course we can make you believe anything opposite of what's obviously happening, that's part of being HPD! It's an odd skill that has many uses, most of the time we use if for ourselves though....

No question about it. People with HPD can be very charming, personable, know instinctively how to make whatever impression they want to make. As you wrote... Like all things though, our power, our skills, our position in life, etc., are all too easily used for personal gain, sometimes at others expense.

What draws us into these exchanges? Our own egos. We allow ourselves to be charmed because we're getting something out of it too. It's a huge ego stroke to have someone seemingly focused 100% on us, who tells us how amazing we are, who really seems to want us just because we are there.

Accepting that we're not going to out-play the charmer, and that it's our own poor self-esteem that is what's behind why we were so willing to be charmed is key to breaking the spell.