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Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby masquerade » Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:22 pm

Perhaps the differences lie in the ways in which emotions are processed, internalised, experienced and expressed? In the UK, we talk of the "stiff upper lip" - an analogy used to describe the ways in which the British are traditionally believed to keep their emotions in check, not expressing them to others, and not allowing full experience of their effects. In the US, people are believed to be more expressive and expansive, and their emotions might appear to be exagerrated to a person in the UK. Due to the subjective nature of emotions and the fact that very few people here in the UK actually talk about or express their feelings, it can be very difficult to learn or know what "normal" is. If a person is schizoid, and they live in an environment in which emotional expression is not encouraged, or their emotions have been invalidated, then it could be theoretically possible that their emotions could become internalised to such an extent that they express and feel that they experience an emotional nihilism. This is only a theory that I have as I know very little about schizoid disorder.
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby xdude » Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:04 pm

OneRinger wrote:
The consensus is that it varies from individual to individual.
There is a lack when it comes to showing emotions that is obvious to anybody.
What happens inside is trickier due to the inability to compare and the subjectivity of emotions. It seems likely that there are less emotions compared to the norm, I think that would be safe to say.

But everybody has some feelings and emotions, otherwise they would most likely be dead. It is a question of degree. And I think the lack is mostly towards positive emotions.


I think about it similarly.

Depending on who/what you read, some believe there is a lack of emotions; others believe the emotions are there, but muted, or blocked. Odds are though there is no one cause, no one experience shared by all, and that a diagnosis based on outward behavior can't tell us what the individuals are feeling (or not).

You know we could look at the stereotypical guy who'd rather stay in his room playing x-box for years on end then go go out and risk dating, because the former is safe, and the later is ego risky (i.e., rejection is a very real possibility and rejection hurts). I suppose the difference there is he might want a GF, where the schizoid type says they don't want a relationship, or really feels they don't what a relationship.

Who knows though, that might all be just the same thing on a continuum from wanting a relationship but risk avoid-ant, to self-denial and risk avoid-ant, to really not wanting (risk is moot, since such a person does not want a relationship). Still, we can wonder. What came first? The lack of want of a relationship?, or is the person so risk adverse, their ego so fragile, that they systematically turned off feelings of want to protect themselves? After all, what we don't want doesn't hurt if we don't have it. Perhaps due to their experiences, they learned over and over that relationships are painful? Hard to know if the person is not able or willing to share their inner experience with others.
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby 1PolarBear » Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:56 pm

xdude wrote:Who knows though, that might all be just the same thing on a continuum from wanting a relationship but risk avoid-ant, to self-denial and risk avoid-ant, to really not wanting (risk is moot, since such a person does not want a relationship). Still, we can wonder. What came first? The lack of want of a relationship?, or is the person so risk adverse, their ego so fragile, that they systematically turned off feelings of want to protect themselves? After all, what we don't want doesn't hurt if we don't have it. Perhaps due to their experiences, they learned over and over that relationships are painful? Hard to know if the person is not able or willing to share their inner experience with others.

There is probably something going on like that as well.
Although, I don't think it is primary.

In my case, what came first was the lack of emotions. I know for sure because I did not cry when I was born, and I always kept to myself to some degree, not playing with other children but interacting with adults. So it is not a learned behavior.

But my emotions were also invalidated like Masquerade said. In fact, they were simply not allowed in the house.

Also, whatever emotions or wants I might display seem to be totally forbidden. Even psychs and company won't let me share things without "correcting them". Or simply judging them in order to protect their own egos. But the thing is that I am quit fine with that. I don't have an urge to display emotions or be understood emotionally, unless I am forced to.

From my end, the impression I have is people telling me to try and walk, while they trip me as soon as they can. Seems like a big joke to me. A prank of some sort. It is not really risk-averse, because the end result from the part of the other is animosity, whether I do something or not. It is more of a case of minimum energy to get the same result. Like I said, I think the ego is socially constructed. But it is possible not to construct it at all since it will be ripped off. So minimum energy once again.
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby xdude » Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:16 pm

GreatM -

Awesome insights ;)

No answers but great insights into what is possibly going on.
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby Greatem » Fri Sep 21, 2012 5:36 pm

xdude wrote:GreatM -

Awesome insights ;)

No answers but great insights into what is possibly going on.

I am not sure if you are thanking me, or confusing me with OneRinger and thanking him.
My last post was on the page before this one.
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby xdude » Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:14 pm

GreatM -

Yes, sorry, I meant OneRinger (this is why I shouldn't try to juggle 3 things at the same time ;))

p.s. I thought ringers comment about not crying when born particularly enlightening.
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby julllia » Sun Aug 07, 2016 11:57 pm

sorry this is too old i know. i just wanted to talk about this because it is weird to me how or why i preferred narc.
just personal experience. every person is different.
i feel weird that between the histrionic and narc abuse .at least personality traits. i preferred the narc.

i mean i think histrionic was more miserable. narcissistic you suffered and had trauma but he made you feel like a dream with the pretty lies. and gave you hope.until the nightmare of truth came out. narc was also very admired at first and seemed intelligent and charming until he hurt someone.
but the histrionic seemed stupid and people laughed behind back and more annoying at attention seeking.like histr methods were less clever. and more annoying.

i mean with narc the were circles of happiness and then terrible misery but with histr it was always stable misery.

what also made me curious
both have dependent spouses married for years.but narc wife seemed to be crazy in love with him.
but the couple with the histr seemed to despise each other but were dependent with each other.

also histrionic were so much more easily influenced, and suggestible
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Re: Narcissistic Vs Histrionic Attention

Postby VeritasCE » Sat Apr 28, 2018 2:33 am

xdude wrote:
Greatem wrote:http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/topic97036.html


Greatem wrote:NPD need reassurance they are better, while HPD need reassurance they are worth something?


Thought this was a great way to put it.

When you come to see what underlies the outward persona, it's not very complex. Both are simply reacting to their own lack of self-esteem. When you see it clearly, both NPD types and HPD types are very predictable in how they'll react to nearly every interaction with others, as well as their perception of others they observe (e.g., in movies/tv, strangers in public, etc)

If someone threatens their ego, they'll react. An ego threat can come in the form of someone of the same sex who is more attractive, wealthier, someone with a greater talent, etc. Their can also be ego threats from someone of the opposite sex, but typically the opposite sex is a potential source of resources/ego-strokes, so is less threatening. For example, put the other person down; talk about how they are better; minimize the other person's accomplishment; just generally dislike the other person; see through the other person's manipulation; they'll feel strong anger even hatred for the other person in general; etc.

If someone boosts their ego or is a potential source of ego boosts or resources, they'll react. For example, idolize the other person; feel warm feelings toward that go beyond what is based on reality; feel the other person is a 'friend' or even fantasize there is a deep spiritual bond; treat the other person with excess preference (even at the expense of other friends which are not in the spot-light in the moment); they'll feel elated even 'instant' love; etc.

To a degree we all do this, but it's less extreme in people who have a good sense of self-esteem. People with a good sense of self-esteem are less reactive to their own lack of self-esteem, so less reactive others around them. They are less likely to feel such extremes of emotions when their ego is threatened, or built-up. You see, people with a good sense of self-esteem are also able to see past 'BS' and are more aware when they are just being 'buttered-up'. People with good self-esteem tend to take longer to warm up to others because simply stroking their ego isn't that moving. A long-term, trust-worthy relationship is though. People with good self-esteem know that anyone can fire off a line of BS or an ego stroking line, but to actually be long term concerned, committed, trust-worthy; those relationships are relatively rare and are truly valuable.

Imagine constantly being caught up in your own inner world, a never ending monologue, reacting to perceived ego threats/ego boosts. When you see past the persona, that's what I see now when I look at people who are suffering from HPD/NPD (and nothing one says will change that thinking process, the only thing that can break the tape loop is to address the core issues, the lack of true self-esteem).


As you pointed out, the difference is that the NPD types focus more on being 'better' than others (e.g., work accomplishments), which in a sense makes their ego building somewhat less dependent on others, and more stable. People with HPD seem to be more dependent on moment to moment ego strokes from others, and my personal opinion is, are closer to the BPD side of the spectrum.

On the other side, are the ASPD types who seemingly protect their fragile egos by shutting off big portions of their feelings for/from others entirely. Seeing everything as a kind of game, an emotional place where they can't be hurt.



Great Insight
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