getting into embarrassing situation

okay i was in the class
and i didn't read the required reading thoroughly
however during the class discussion i can't stand just sitting, shut up
so i would say anything,
and then i later realized, i got some concept completely wrong!
cuz i didnt read thoroughly... i had to read the last part omg...
so i talked about wrong thing pretentiously,
it's EMBARRASSING LOL
but seriously, even if i know i'd be embarrassed
ican't stop and not drag attention
i have to get attention i have to, i have-to-!!!!!
even if ppl'd say i am stupid, i need to move my mouth!
LOL damn it...

Read it next time then.

When I'm in class I don't say anything in discussion unless I know what I'm talking about... then I can get attention and seem smarter than most of the class. It works really well and it got me smart friends lol.

I used to be the class clown, which disrupted things for me and everyone else. It's only comparatively recently that I've realised that this approach got me the wrong type of attention.

I've always (still have to a degree) had a tendency to self sabotage. I wonder if that's what you're doing to an extent? It was (is) related to low self esteem for me.

In college I was known as "Myth". Because not everyone believed I existed...

"You're in my class?? WTF dude! In two years I've never seen you here!!"

"Hey, dude, Myth is here!! Take a picture, or you'll never see him again."

anagram wrote:In college I was known as "Myth". Because not everyone believed I existed...

"You're in my class?? WTF dude! In two years I've never seen you here!!"

"Hey, dude, Myth is here!! Take a picture, or you'll never see him again."

In middle school, my 'friends' called me the quite one. I did whatever i wanted, but no one noticed. The teacher once told me she can't believe i lied to her, which i did to everyone all the time.
In high school, a girl from my class didn't know my name for over an year.

anagram wrote:In college I was known as "Myth". Because not everyone believed I existed...

"You're in my class?? WTF dude! In two years I've never seen you here!!"

"Hey, dude, Myth is here!! Take a picture, or you'll never see him again."

That was my junior year of high school. I was either sick or just too depressed to go, and I almost got to go to court over it. Almost.

Then a week or so before my graduation, I kept staying home because I didn't see a point to going since I was going to graduate no matter what. They didn't like that.

LOL

I was really bad when younger. I always felt I had to answer every question to the class, but I did learn it as best I could so that my answers were generally correct. Thing was I realized on some level I was irritating the other kids; sometimes even the teachers would be like okay let someone else answer. Yep, low self-esteem, no praise at home, so I was compensating in school. That carried over even into adult-hood for a while, being to quick to have 'the answer' and not listening well to others. I'm better but still I do it, jump in to get some attention, like hey, in a sense I'm doing that now

Okay so yyy, an analogy for you to ponder.

Everyone needs to eat, some food to live. Too little and we get sick, but likewise too much and we gain weight and often end up sick. There are some people who seemingly never get enough food. As soon as they are done eating, they are hungry again. Maybe they are just eating to feel good. Maybe to compensate for some other feelings that hurt. Whatever the reasons, more is not always healthy for us.

I think it applies to our psyches as well. We all need some praise, attention, validation. If we don't get enough we can end up emotionally unwell. Thing is I also think, like over-eating, too much can leave us unwell too. Okay so there is no outward physical sing of over indulging, like gaining weigh, but there are outward signs in the way people behave and perceive themselves in relationship to others which are toxic. More more more attention to compensate for other feelings isn't a lot different then eating endlessly to compensate for other feelings. Both are unhealthy because they end up being ways to avoid dealing with those other feelings, and I think do damage on some level as well. If nothing else, a person who over indulges in attention to feel good may also under-develop other healthy ways to boost our self-esteem (e.g., finishing a job, helping others, exercising, learning something new, etc.)

Can you imagine being at dinner and someone takes far more then their fair share of food or drink? How everyone else would feel like they are being denied their share? Well the same is often true of someone who takes more then their fair share of attention. It's amusing for a while, and then eventually others start to feel bitter or exhausted that one person is unbalancing what is a fair/reasonable amount of attention that others in the group would like to enjoy too.

yYyYy wrote:okay i was in the class
and i didn't read the required reading thoroughly
however during the class discussion i can't stand just sitting, shut up
so i would say anything,
and then i later realized, i got some concept completely wrong!
cuz i didnt read thoroughly... i had to read the last part omg...
so i talked about wrong thing pretentiously,
it's EMBARRASSING LOL
but seriously, even if i know i'd be embarrassed
ican't stop and not drag attention
i have to get attention i have to, i have-to-!!!!!
even if ppl'd say i am stupid, i need to move my mouth!
LOL damn it...

Classic HPD