Symptoms broken down

shadow-24 wrote:The list of symptoms and their descriptions is very useful for me now. I still have some doubts.
I have been for one year in a relationship with a 37-years old woman who, since the third month into our relationship, has been showing some of the behaviors you describe. We have decide to split, but I want to understand her as much as possible, as I have tried during these months.

Some of the things have been happening and that I'm having a hard time understanding are these:
[*] She spends a lot of energy and time putting things in order at home. At times, I see it as almost obsessive. Some times she screamed at me for having left a plate here instead of there, or for not having used this soap instead of that one... small things that may be bothersome, of course, but what shocked me from the first time was the intensity of the anger. After a while, I started to feel like walking on eggshells, wondering if I would be doing this or that the right way, hoping not to be screamed at.

[*] She has a hard time living in silence, or in the absence of noise. The TV is on practically all day, and when it's not, she quickly needs to turn it on to hear the noise.

[*] She's been having for months serious difficulties to sleep. She fights that with marijuana, TV on and, at some point, sleeping in the sofa. This has been going on for months now.

[*] Several times, she's told me that if I don't share with her absolutely everything I have in my mind, I am not contributing to our relationship, I'm hiding things.

[*] When we met, she was looking for a job. We worked together on her resume, but one day, all of a sudden, she lost interest in it. One day I forwarded to her email jobs postings I found on the internet while looking for more work for myself. When she got home, I forgot to tell her, and when she saw the emails with the links, she got incredibly angry, and told me that I was critisizing her, putting her down, not trusting her, and invading her. And that I should have told here that those emails were there before she saw them. It sounded to me as if she had felt totally invaded.

[*] She seems to have problems with most of the people she has a relationship with. They go from being wonderful friends to being unworthy of any trust. I've verbalized it to myself as if she was at war with the world.

[*] Two times she's been unable to control her anger and has become physically agressive with me. The first time it happened was a turning point for me. The second time she did because she was hitting her dog badly and I asked her why she was doing that, and then she hit me. I still try to understand and yet, at the same time, to me physical agression is the red line. When I told her this, she got angrier with me and blamed me.

Does any of these behaviors / reactions / situations resonate with anyone?

Thank you.

Fallen_Angel73 wrote:

trying to understand wrote:If someone needs love so badly, why would they toss aside people who love them in favor of being someone's dirty secret (mistress).

katana wrote:Read the OP and other important bits.

Just wondering; how do you explain a person claiming to have HPD who doesn't come across as HPD IRL, and whose behaviour doesn't entirely make sense with the disorder ? - also their reaction to being treated in different ways don't make sense. (They don't respond positively to the stuff people with BPD or HPD are supposed to, instead they just use it to further take advantage, yet have attempted to claim they have BPD/HPD.) A lot of their portrayals of people with those disorders actually look like more like they're taking the piss out of them, but they seem determined (more so in the past than present) to convince people that is who they were.

Read and absorbed regardless though.

For the trolls, lol: I'm not talking about myself when I mention people not seeming HPD on the outside but being HPD on the inside. At times in my life, I've been far closer to the other way around. People would think I used impressionistic speech lacking in detail because I actually had a pathological inability to disclose and a need to keep my life, thoughts and intentions very private. The question is not about me.